rate_review Reviews

Okay, I really like this story, but it needs work. You have a lot of really strange errors that I don't understand. For example I noticed that at one point you typed stare instead of starve. You also need to work on the dialogue. It's choppy and abrupt. There's no real flow when you read what they're saying.

For the most part this story is good and interesting, but you really need to work on those strange little typos and the dialogue ^_^

The further I get through the chapter the more frustrating this becomes. Please focus on typos.

ingury, fatiuge, and famon

Injury, Fatigue, and Famine.

Please. As I get further through the story the typos and misspellings become more and more prominent and frequent.

I want to read this story, but I won't be able to if this problem persists.

Crap! That damn cheater! >< Lamar should have said that Rias's oponent was to be the weak silver fox XD Gaaaah, the suspense is killing me! lol Update soon mate! ^_^

Sorry it took me so long to comment! XD Been distracted... ANYhoo, a few minor gramatical errors, but other than that YAY!!!! I was so worried that Lamar and Rias would have an even longer gap between them because of the collar thing, but I'm glad they sorted things out ^_^ Also, I dun like that Candise >< She better not get Gabe! He's mine!... I mean, Lamar's >_> lol Update again soon Ethereal! :)

Eep, I'm afraid of what Rais will do when he finds out about the collar... and how is he gonna even get that thing on him anyway? XD That'll be a challenge in itself! lol Great update mate ^_^ A few minor errors here and there, but otherwise I likes aLOT :) Hehe,UPDATE again SOON Ethereal!!! :P

I like this a lot! Looking forward to future chapters.

PLEASE UPDATE!!! Please?... Pretty please?... With sugar on top? :P lol

Oh, and there are places where you wrote "one" when it was meant to be "no"
Examples: He may be a fox but he was in "one" way similar to this creature. (And the last example of this being) There was "one" way he could get this one now.