AFF Fiction Portal
schedule January 12, 2008 at 12:00 AM
soo hot! cant wait for more
schedule January 11, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I like this alot, but you need a beta or need to work on spelling and grammar... Other than that, I really like it alot........
person Agaib
schedule January 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
You should try working on flow and coherency. Also, it might be better if you use more paragraphs. Otherwise, it's an interesting idea but you should try a little harder to demonstrate the motives of your characters.

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