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July 12, 2008 at 12:00 AM
This was a very beautiful story. You are a wonderful writer. Never before have I stayed up until 4:30AM reading 38 chapters(instead of doing work. Oops.) I was sad at first when I read the ending, but the more I reread it, I actually felt kind of happy. I'm looking forward to #2 =)
(Sorry, I had to resend this review. I noticed my original one was crap!)
(Sorry, I had to resend this review. I noticed my original one was crap!)
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February 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 41
Wha....What do you mean, its not over yet? But...But...Luke defeated Ra, didn't he? What more is there to face? Ohhhh, unless Luke is referring to his own darkness within?
Whoo hooo, another chapter to read, so lets go find out....
Wha....What do you mean, its not over yet? But...But...Luke defeated Ra, didn't he? What more is there to face? Ohhhh, unless Luke is referring to his own darkness within?
Whoo hooo, another chapter to read, so lets go find out....
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February 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Awwwwwwwww the end!
So, has Kiyoshi forgotten Luke? Has he become just a distant memory? Or does he know its Luke leaving him the roses?
Well done on the completion of your story. It was a real pleasure to read, and I look forward to the continuation of it....
So, has Kiyoshi forgotten Luke? Has he become just a distant memory? Or does he know its Luke leaving him the roses?
Well done on the completion of your story. It was a real pleasure to read, and I look forward to the continuation of it....
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February 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
very very good chapter keep going and post soon
bye bye
bye bye
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February 16, 2008 at 12:00 AM
very very good keep going and post soon
bye bye
bye bye
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February 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 39
Wha...whats going on? What is the other thing that Kiyoshi has to fear? What is it Luke knows? And, I thought Luke went to the other group members for help, not to say goodbye...does he think he and Kiyoshi will be safer alone, or is he simply trying to protect his group from Ra's vengence too?
Ohh another chapter ....lets read on...lol
Wha...whats going on? What is the other thing that Kiyoshi has to fear? What is it Luke knows? And, I thought Luke went to the other group members for help, not to say goodbye...does he think he and Kiyoshi will be safer alone, or is he simply trying to protect his group from Ra's vengence too?
Ohh another chapter ....lets read on...lol
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February 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 40
Oh, thats a surprise...sex makes Kiyoshi extremely emotional! Will he regret what he said when he cools down? He was most adament before, that he didn't want Luke to change. But in order to defeat Ra, that's just what Luke will have to do. Is that why he told his young puppet that was the last time they would have sex together, because the new 'Luke' will be taking over?
I wonder how Ra will take it....
Oh, thats a surprise...sex makes Kiyoshi extremely emotional! Will he regret what he said when he cools down? He was most adament before, that he didn't want Luke to change. But in order to defeat Ra, that's just what Luke will have to do. Is that why he told his young puppet that was the last time they would have sex together, because the new 'Luke' will be taking over?
I wonder how Ra will take it....
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February 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
OMG you kill them all. "cries". Hope that Ra wil have a painful death.
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February 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
this was sad why kill them
you are so mean
but keep up the good work and post soon
bye bye
you are so mean
but keep up the good work and post soon
bye bye
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February 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Oh my god! You killed them! I can't believe you were brave enough to do that! You actually killed off some of the main, and loved, characters. It's going to be very interesting to see where it goes now. Will you be introducing more characters to the story, to replace the ones you just killed off? Or will you be winding it down now, to a final confrontation between Ra and Luke?
The only teeny thing I'll mention is...silent knocking? Those two words don't really go together. A knock is supposed to be heard. If it's silent.... Try changing it to read, 'quiet knocking', or 'gentle knocking', maybe?
The only teeny thing I'll mention is...silent knocking? Those two words don't really go together. A knock is supposed to be heard. If it's silent.... Try changing it to read, 'quiet knocking', or 'gentle knocking', maybe?