rate_review Reviews

(full disclosure: I tutored writing students for three years and taught English for two semesters) I'll give you this: you tell a fairly coherent story. However, it kind of gets lost in the overly florid imagery (much of which, at least in the beginning, is a little too generically emo). The part that I think you told best was the emergence of Saint Jimmy and the way he divorced himself from James. I almost didn't get that far, though, because the beginning turned me off. If I could suggest a revision, it would be to introduce Jimmy sooner, perhaps as a representation of James's id. FWIW, my guess is that you get/got a good grade on this -- it's the sort of stuff creative writing teachers lok for. Trouble is, it's got a narrow audience -- that is to say, creative writing teachers and students. I realize this seems harsh, but remember I also said I did like the story; I just think you can refine the telling a bit. (PS: I apologize for the ginormous paragraph. I'm writing this on my mobile and the enter key doesn't work with AFF on it.)