rate_review Reviews

I like the depth of this, I can almost feel Jason's pain. I'm just wondering if this story is going to have a happy ending, with someone saving him from his hell? (I'm a sucker for happy endings ;P) but so far I think it's a good beginning :)

I love this story. It's really well written, unique, and captivating. I can't wait to see what happens next. I wanna see how Jason will get away (if he gets away) and if the guy from the laundry room will have a bigger part. I'm anxiously awaiting your next update.

Awesome! I just read chapter 4 this morning and I already get another. Nothing seems off to me, this story has a promising start and I look forward to more. There were a few grammatical errors, but nothing major and it certainly doesn't detract from the story. Great job!

This story is great! Pleas, pleas update soon, me too want's to know who lawndry-guy is!:)

Hei,
Aattelin kirjottaa sulle palautetta suomeksi, koska on liian myöhä ruveta miettii vastausta englanniksi. Toivottavasti se on okei? Kummiski, Kiinnosta tarina sulla tuolla =D Ihanasti oot saanu kirjotettuu henkilöt tosi mielenkiintosiksi ja juoni itessään on tosi kiinnostava ja mukaansatempaava. Toivottavasti inspiraatio pysyy ja seuraava lisäys tulee pian =D Kiitos paljon!
Krista

So...just why DID Jonathan lock the bedroom door? Its not like Jason could run away from him. Unless it was just to show the poor boy who was in charge...letting him know who held the key to his unhappiness and suffering.

My hearth dropped at the mention of Jonathan.....You need to take away the 'h' at the end of 'hearth'. The word you have spelled means 'floor of the fireplace'

One thing I think you should change is this part....'I saw the delicious looking chicken and rice'....If it were me, I would alter it to read something like, 'the delicious looking strips of beef and rice', or even 'the delicious looking prawns and rice'.....The reason being? Simply because, just a few paragraphs up, you wrote, 'I still didn’t like chicken' I know Jason is starving hungry, but I think it would read better if he really liked the food presented before him, making the task of satisfying Jonathan all the more bearable.

You're doing a really great job with this story, and I applaud you, especially seeing as how you are not a native speaker of english. Keep it up.....
And, I hope you start to feel better soon...

I wanna know who the laundry guy is!!! RoAr! I hope he's a friendly saving the distressed damsel type character kind... This is pretty good. Your English actually probably isn't any worse then mine and I was born here! *^^* Update soon!

Oh poor Jason. Jonathan sure knows how to take advantage of a situation doesn't he? I think he'd be better off with him than his father anyway. Depending how you see it. Which is the lesser of two evils. I can't wait to read more. Update soon.
Thanks for the update.

So far I've only read the first chapter. My privacy was compromised so I had to stop.

Anyhoo, it's good so far! The details give it life without going overboard, and the POV is very interesting. I can't wait to read more, really! The only thing that bothered me a little was the last paragraph I think, but that was a grammatical thing. Two people speaking in one paragraph... It only happened once that I noticed, so it's not a big deal. I just thought I'd point it out.

Keep up the good work! ^_^

~C~

P.S. Sorry, I had to remove the review and then put it back. I made a stupid spelling mistake, and I swear, I'm such a freak about things like that. ^^;;; OK, yeah, I'm a dork. w00t!

New reader. I really like this story. I can't wait to see what happens next. Update soon please.