rate_review Reviews

I'm a little depressed 'cause my favourite story on Aff. wasn't updatet for over two weeks;)

sorry for reviewing so much but i really want to know when you're goning to update :]

Depressing but good. I eagerly await an update. ^_^

i have read about six chapters of this story and already i'm crying.
i cannot believe how similar this story is to a friend of mine named adam.
i swear, the same story, the same situation he has been through.
except for when jason was being put up for fights, adam wasn't in that situation.

thank you for writing this story. i'm absolutely in love with it.
it opens a new window for me. a new perspective.

i'm off to read the rest of the story!

i've finished the 15th chapter.
this story is so sad and touching.
please, please, please update.

I had no idea you weren't a native English speaker until you said it. First, I'm going to give you the bad stuff. Don't worry, there's good at the end. :)

-I just sat there, watching Tristan until he finally stirred. He turned in his bundle and pressed his face against my leg. A second later his whole body jerked at the contact and his eyes shot wide open in fear. He glanced at me and just stared for a moment before jumping up and bouncing me with wide arms.-

The first sentence in that paragraph is basically just repeating what you said in the paragraph above it. You don't need to do that. Also, you use the word "just" a whole lot. You might want to cut down on that.

-“Don’t fight me, Cabe. You’ll regret it if you will and you know it.”-

I think you mean to say, "Don't fight me, Cabe. You'll regret it if you do and you know it." "Will" isn't the right conjugation of the word. It's future tense. You're looking for present tense.

-My muscled protested with pain but it was nothing compared to the torture Jonathan had put me through.-

This just looks like a typo, but you mean "muscle" not "muscled". Muscle is a noun, muscled is a verb.

Now the good stuff.

Your characterization remains awesome. The way you portray Jason is incredible. The way he acts is spot on without being text-book (does that make sense?). And, I love that you welcome criticism so openly. That's very refreshing to see.

I really can't wait to read the next chapter.

And... I think Jason's going to be his own knight in shining armor. I think he's going to save himself and Tristan. Also, you can really tell that the people around him are starting to see the effect they're having on him. It's all done very realistically. You're doing a great job.

Wow very hard to read-but in a good way I mean! I've really grown attached to Jason! Hopefully he will has someone to save him-I'm gussing "Mr. annoying"...

I read this story yesterday in one sitting and forgot to review, so I'm gonna do that now.

It's been a long time since I found a story on aff.net that really intrigued me. I know a good story when I shed a tear or two and when I'm actually feeling what the characters are feeling. You pulled me completely into this universe when I was reading those 15 chapters! I'm glad I found this gem and I'll be reading it to the very end. Oh, and don't worry about your grammar, it's better than most writers' on aff.net. ^__^

Greetings from Austria!

Give the kid a break. please

Yay!!! another chapter!!! I love poor, poor Jason.