schedule
June 17, 2008 at 12:00 AM
w00t a new chapter! I discovered this story last week and read through the entire thing in like two days. It's a really great story - good plot, nice characterization, etcetc - you just need a lot of grammar corrections ^_^ If you are looking for a beta, I'd be happy to help out. In case AFF is being weird again about displaying e-mails, you can contact me at fainsadi@gmail.com.
Much love for this story!
Much love for this story!
schedule
June 17, 2008 at 12:00 AM
It made me smile that was so cute
P.S I feel like is the calm before the storm though.
DOn;t torture the poor kid too much. I have kinda fergot what Jason looks like can u posibly include a desription
Love ya laters <3
P.S I feel like is the calm before the storm though.
DOn;t torture the poor kid too much. I have kinda fergot what Jason looks like can u posibly include a desription
Love ya laters <3
schedule
June 17, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I'm so happy! I new C wasn't bad and I bet he would notice if his partner hadn't been satisfied!
schedule
June 16, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Mmm... It seemed a strange place to cut off the chapter, on a simple question. But maybe that's your way of building up the tension ready for the next chapter?
I almost cried too, with Jason, when he received that scary note. I bet it's from Jonathan, seeing as how Jason didn't recognize the writing. He really should show it to someone but then, perhaps Chris might? He's obviously taking to looking after Jason. And, the green haired boy had to roll onto his tummy because he was aroused at having Jason crawl on top of him, wasn't he? Lol...Yep, I definately think Chris likes Jason.
Spotted a few errors you might want to think about changing....
I took the envelope from him hesitantly and looked at the handwriting. I (It) didn’t look familiar.
She sat down on the sofa and gave the flowers once (one) last glance before setting her eyes on me and asking. “If there (is) something that troubles you, Jason
I woke up on Saturday morning in (to) a loud beeping noise
“In a minute dear.” Rose smiled and took a left on the next crossing. (Should that not have been Dianna talking?)
I looked around (the room) and then (back at) him
I love this story so much!
I almost cried too, with Jason, when he received that scary note. I bet it's from Jonathan, seeing as how Jason didn't recognize the writing. He really should show it to someone but then, perhaps Chris might? He's obviously taking to looking after Jason. And, the green haired boy had to roll onto his tummy because he was aroused at having Jason crawl on top of him, wasn't he? Lol...Yep, I definately think Chris likes Jason.
Spotted a few errors you might want to think about changing....
I took the envelope from him hesitantly and looked at the handwriting. I (It) didn’t look familiar.
She sat down on the sofa and gave the flowers once (one) last glance before setting her eyes on me and asking. “If there (is) something that troubles you, Jason
I woke up on Saturday morning in (to) a loud beeping noise
“In a minute dear.” Rose smiled and took a left on the next crossing. (Should that not have been Dianna talking?)
I looked around (the room) and then (back at) him
I love this story so much!
schedule
June 16, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Great new chapter! I really like C. who was mean to begin then got nicer, than I do T. who was nice and turned...well not so nice. I'd like it if J. ended up with C, but I'll see what happens. Update soon!
schedule
June 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
hmm... that seems like an odd place to end a chapter... am i missing a section or something??
schedule
June 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
OMG! You have some kind of dark gift. Honestly! You draw it to where its JUUST close enough to satisfy, but then you stop. Well me and my friends LOVE it and think you should finish the next chapter as quickly as possible so we know how jason answers!! Please dont torment us so much!! All the love in my heart(so you write faster)!
~F-J
~F-J
schedule
June 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I really really want something to be going on between Chris and Jason.
schedule
June 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Aw, I like the new Chris! I think he and Jason could be cute together...
schedule
June 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Whoo hoo. Came back off my hols to find lots of yummy chapters to catch up on.
So, poor Jason couldn't get to see little Tristian because he fought eh? Tough love...Still, it was a little unfair. It wasn't only Jason that was hurt by that decision, I'm sure Tristian cried bucket loads too!
Chris is being weird. Or is he just showing his true colours? Is he really sorry for the upset he caused? Or is he scheming for something? Perhaps he thinks he can seduce Jason by being nice to him?
And yay, Kevin is going to be okay too! This is turning out better and better....Unless, of course, something happens to throw a spanner in the works, and Jason's life starts getting bad again. I don't know, something like, his dad...or Jonathon...making a re-appearence?
Hope you had a fantastic birthday...
So, poor Jason couldn't get to see little Tristian because he fought eh? Tough love...Still, it was a little unfair. It wasn't only Jason that was hurt by that decision, I'm sure Tristian cried bucket loads too!
Chris is being weird. Or is he just showing his true colours? Is he really sorry for the upset he caused? Or is he scheming for something? Perhaps he thinks he can seduce Jason by being nice to him?
And yay, Kevin is going to be okay too! This is turning out better and better....Unless, of course, something happens to throw a spanner in the works, and Jason's life starts getting bad again. I don't know, something like, his dad...or Jonathon...making a re-appearence?
Hope you had a fantastic birthday...