rate_review Reviews

NEXT WEEK??!?!?!?
update soon please!
ASOTA

Different but good

oh very interesting i look forward to seeing more of this story so please update soon. ^_^

This is a fantastic start!!! I like the dynamic between Mathius and Gren, hopefully we can look forward to a little 3some in the future?
Look forward to more!
Asyen

This is very interesting, and I loved that you threw in a third person to add to the confusion, but there is a small issue with grammar having to do with comma placement and extra points at the end of a sentence. Make sure to watch your comma placement, because you have to remember that when a reader comes to a comma, they, automatically, pause. (Reading out that last bit in the proper way makes it sound strange, right?) So I would go through some proper comma usage books or things like that to help out. The last thing is the amount of punctuation you use at the end of a sentence. Never use ?? or !! at the end of a sentence because it makes the writing seem somewhat immature. You'll also find that no author with a published book has his, because it's not really a proper writing technique.

I'm not trying to rip your work to shreds or anything, I promise. I really do find it very interesting, and I will continue reading it as long as you continue writing it, but you do need to know the minor problems. I really hope you continue this, because I'll be checking for updates ^^

To think that only the kind knows that merethist is a in fact a male who only appears as a female, that's probably why gren really isn't to into the situation at the moment but he will be. Then his lover mathius(?) is a big wrench in everything, he better fade to black if he doesn't want to disappear for good. Can't wait for your next update.