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January 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
you should contine I WANT A JUICY LEMON WITH A LOT OF SEX!!! but not to fast cuz i dont want autum to seem easy i love how your doing this!!
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January 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I like this story. And it was different to actually see my real life name in chapter 7. It's Bernedette by the way. Autumn kinda reminds me of well me when I was in school. And Dam kinda reminds me of my first love except for the blue eyes. lol
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January 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Thanks for the explanation about the classes and the season thing (I honestly wouldn't have gotten it o_O).
I liked the break in this chapter; dealing with more serious things, the introduction of Dominick's mother (loved the dialogue in that part, by the way). Except you did that line thing again at the end...and I started reading your AN and was all confused because I was waiting for something to happen! S'okay, though. It just makes me anxious for another chapter.
As for explaining Dominick's motives...I dunno. I probably would rather be kept in the dark...well, maybe a dimly lit room. I mean, I'm curious, but you run the risk of taking away his "mysterious boy" attractiveness if he suddenly goes into explanation-mode.
I won't lie and say that I don't want to see this continue for as long as you want to write it. You have a definite talent. I did something similiar -wrote a story about kids in high school and then wanted to continue it. I just stopped the first one after their graduation and started a new one that took place years later. I actually liked the way it worked out because the sequel sort of stood on its own.
Looking forward to your next installment!
I liked the break in this chapter; dealing with more serious things, the introduction of Dominick's mother (loved the dialogue in that part, by the way). Except you did that line thing again at the end...and I started reading your AN and was all confused because I was waiting for something to happen! S'okay, though. It just makes me anxious for another chapter.
As for explaining Dominick's motives...I dunno. I probably would rather be kept in the dark...well, maybe a dimly lit room. I mean, I'm curious, but you run the risk of taking away his "mysterious boy" attractiveness if he suddenly goes into explanation-mode.
I won't lie and say that I don't want to see this continue for as long as you want to write it. You have a definite talent. I did something similiar -wrote a story about kids in high school and then wanted to continue it. I just stopped the first one after their graduation and started a new one that took place years later. I actually liked the way it worked out because the sequel sort of stood on its own.
Looking forward to your next installment!
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January 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
woot! great chapter. dominick's mom's nice. hehe. i like her. update soon please!
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January 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
New chapter - now you have ME squeeing. *gg*
I really like it - like always.
And I really think you should make it one story. I like sequels but I also like long stories. In the end it is up to you though!
Keep going!
I really like it - like always.
And I really think you should make it one story. I like sequels but I also like long stories. In the end it is up to you though!
Keep going!
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January 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
wow, it seems like i haven't reviewed in ages. Just know I have been keeping up and love your story very much. It's awesome. I like Dominick and the fact you sescribed him in such a way because it proves that someone can be hot even with their flaws. it shows he isn't perfect.
Yea I also wonder at his motives too, but I think you should let it come out naturally in the story as you first had planned. Don't write anything separate for it. It's not neccessary. And if you do plan on making it extend past high school make it separate. it'll be a part two.
I have a question, why did you choose to call it Cherry? I always wonder what makes a person think up a title. I personally be having issues with coming up with eye-catching titles.
Oh cool you're from Austrailia. I tend to forget that continent is down there sometimes, but when I remember I alwaus wonder how it is. It's one of those places I want to visit. Right next to Japan. Well TTYL
Yea I also wonder at his motives too, but I think you should let it come out naturally in the story as you first had planned. Don't write anything separate for it. It's not neccessary. And if you do plan on making it extend past high school make it separate. it'll be a part two.
I have a question, why did you choose to call it Cherry? I always wonder what makes a person think up a title. I personally be having issues with coming up with eye-catching titles.
Oh cool you're from Austrailia. I tend to forget that continent is down there sometimes, but when I remember I alwaus wonder how it is. It's one of those places I want to visit. Right next to Japan. Well TTYL
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January 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
YAY!!!!!! ^___^ *is excited* you made my day after a kind draining one at school... I came home and boom! new chapter up already... I think I might have actually jumped up and down while I was sitting on my bed... xD ^__^ so thank you! And I wonder if Autumn will get to meet Dom's sister soon... Dom's mom is hilarious and I could see her embarrassing him and herding them into a 'proper' relationship... *can't wait to see where it goes* *wags puppy tail, trying to sit still as she writes*
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January 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Well I like Dominick too.
I love Autumn and the way Dominick is always pulling her into dark, secluded places and doing those delicious things to her.
You know, you write very well for an Australian,I should know for I am one also.....why don't you know what "chunder" means in that great Men at Work song?
I love Autumn and the way Dominick is always pulling her into dark, secluded places and doing those delicious things to her.
You know, you write very well for an Australian,I should know for I am one also.....why don't you know what "chunder" means in that great Men at Work song?
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January 2, 2008 at 12:00 AM
It was me that mentioned you in the forum. I was telling the others here how good of a story this is. It was the aff forum and I also have you on my rec reading list. I love this story, and I am glad that I found it.
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January 2, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Wow. That last line of Dominick's was a great ending to that chapter! I know it wasn't supposed to sound threatening, but it almost did, I think because of that "I promise" at the end of it. Enough to give a girl shivers!
As for Autumn...I dunno. I rather like her. I mean, she seems like kind of your average smarty girl -which isn't a bad thing. You've written her in such a way that makes her easy to relate to. She has all of these crazy emotions going through her -confusion, irritation, uncertainty, embarrassment, etc.- which happens to everyone (especially if presented with someone like Dominick).
There were a few things that confused me about this chapter. For starters, you've spent the past five chapters telling us how smart Autumn is, but then she couldn't get the grades to get into Chemistry? Is this a particularly advanced Chem class? It's not really all that important, I was just curious because my Chem class in high school was just another class you had to take for a science requirement. Also, the birthday conversation confused the hell out of me. I might have just temporarily lost my mind during that part, but if Dominick's sister was born on April Fool's Day and that's the day after Autumn's birthday, wouldn't that make Autumn's birthday March 31st? So why would Dominick ask her if she was named Autumn because she was born in autumn? I'm not trying to be critical, but I got really confused during that whole thing.
Otherwise, I loved this chapter and was glad to see you had updated so soon. It was nice to see someone write about a girl being taught to do all these things instead of her just magically knowing how to give head. This chapter just reiterate what I said about her being likable because she reacts believably.
Can't wait to see what's next!
As for Autumn...I dunno. I rather like her. I mean, she seems like kind of your average smarty girl -which isn't a bad thing. You've written her in such a way that makes her easy to relate to. She has all of these crazy emotions going through her -confusion, irritation, uncertainty, embarrassment, etc.- which happens to everyone (especially if presented with someone like Dominick).
There were a few things that confused me about this chapter. For starters, you've spent the past five chapters telling us how smart Autumn is, but then she couldn't get the grades to get into Chemistry? Is this a particularly advanced Chem class? It's not really all that important, I was just curious because my Chem class in high school was just another class you had to take for a science requirement. Also, the birthday conversation confused the hell out of me. I might have just temporarily lost my mind during that part, but if Dominick's sister was born on April Fool's Day and that's the day after Autumn's birthday, wouldn't that make Autumn's birthday March 31st? So why would Dominick ask her if she was named Autumn because she was born in autumn? I'm not trying to be critical, but I got really confused during that whole thing.
Otherwise, I loved this chapter and was glad to see you had updated so soon. It was nice to see someone write about a girl being taught to do all these things instead of her just magically knowing how to give head. This chapter just reiterate what I said about her being likable because she reacts believably.
Can't wait to see what's next!