rate_review Reviews

Where did you go???????????????

PLEASE PLEASE UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really like this so far. It's very entertaining with a good plot and idea. Update soon please.

Don't feel bad, I still love you :) A little drama in this chapter, very good. I hope you feel better. Can't have one of my fav writers dying on me, now can I?

Very nice! Not sure there's enough sarcasm yet though. ^_^ TOTALLY want to keep ready but I can't right now. But, I will. I PROMISE!

Yay!

You have a very funny, very well-paced story here with a clearly-developed world and mythology. It's a lot of fun to read. I am kind of curious as to the romance part -- it seems like Cam just suddenly discovered that she found Stick attractive -- but it's early yet.

Looking forward to the next chapter...

I'd have to agree with the rest of the reviews and say that this story is insanely original.
You're character seems like a keen observer the way she describes the people around her with such riveting detail. (I think it's funny for a character the ever so hates everyone around them she knows them so well.) Because of the fact that she's a good observer I want to take the time to say I hope you didn't make her so much an observer that she doesn't make many choices or take much action.

" 'Me' protagonists...are characters to whom things are done, whereas 'I' protagonists actually do something[about their situation]" -Charles Baxter

I know most people just like to say that "ur story was real good. u write good. write more plz." in reviews and move on, but I like to give ACTUAL reviews. It's the journalism major in me, I think.
Anyway, just read Chapter 2. Great, but had some questions/suggestions that you don't have to take at all. OK, I noticed that you didn't describe how your character looks until chapter 2. I understand that on this sites chapters tend to be considerable shorter than actually novels, but don't you think you should have a detail like that a lot soon? You explained how everyone looked (EVEN the popular bitch) but not the main character until chapter 2? A little weird to me. I love how conceited she is while explain herself, "I'm really hot!" lol
Also, I could just be one of the stupid people but the names "Mara" and "Marabell" or too close for comfort for me. I think since in actuality the characters are so different, and since what they mean to the character or so different, there names should be so different as well.
K last question. I Stick crushing on the Cambion? Come on! Tell me, please! :-)

Hey Just read Chapter 3. Great story. I'm getting hooked.
Just wanted to ask. You said when you were describing their "spot" that it was already mid October and it was already cold. Do ever say where the story takes place? Cause the sentence tired to make me think or what part of the country they live in since it was so cold by mid October, but then I realized I don't know what country, state, city, etc they live in. BUT I probably just totally zoned on a part and you could have already stated it. If so don't mind me. lol
Jane is gonna get lung cancer with all the cigarettes she smokes. lol I really like the character Mara. You make him seem like someone I have a crush on. ;-) So, more of him, yay!
BEST LINE IN THE STORY:
"It's...not a nice word where I come from?" "What(Actually should be were if you meant for the character to use proper English), Milwaukee?"
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!