AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Rooftop

by Lunarwench

person smint45
schedule January 9, 2016 at 12:00 AM
So I just reread this story and I'm really sad to see that you don't seem to contiue it!!! I really dodn't like where you let us!!I feel bad for fen I mean the situation was really out of his control and I think Eathen is really overreacting!!! I really would have wished for the tow of them to get back together!!! I wonder why the king insisted that Fen shows him I have I really bad feeling concerning his reasoning!!!! And I wonder what that dream was abaout? The mist beeing fen? Probably if you consider the eyes!!! And Asterac is also kind of fishy!!! I also have a bad feeling concerning him!!! I really hope that even after all this time you will continue this story!!! Hope to hear from you!!!
person Anonym
schedule July 20, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Hi,

I realy like your story. It's really different than others, unique but sadly it seams abandoned. Please continue writing.
person S.E.Anderson
schedule November 28, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS. i know its be years since you updated i dont even know if you still check your account but DANGIT you cant just leave a person hanging over here! will ethan and Fen get back together?! what is the deal with the whole' king trying to kill his son and probably killed his mistress too'?! what about asterac,who the hell is he!? and why is the king so.... the way the king is!?! i have to know! ugh anyway i like the way your writing syle and your story line(until that cliff hanger) although i am still confused about the whole "other side". what do you mean when you say the land was split?
person amothepirate
schedule January 1, 2013 at 12:00 AM
This story is WONDERFUL! I love the characters! "Turtlebugs" made me giggle. I love Ethan's strong personality and -gasp- Fen's past! How tragic. I admit I might be interested to see what's under the secretary's robes *eyebrow waggle* and look forward to you updating soon!
person Dezza
schedule November 6, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I feel so sad for Ethan! Him and Fen are having such troubles!
I really enjoy your story. I like writing, but I am no where near this talented. You bring life to your characters and have a wonderful way of describing things so that I can picture it vividly in my head but at the same time am not bored with endless details. Cycling back to your characters, they feel so real. Like, I could reach out and touch them. They are so well fleshed out that even fictional they feel like a lifelong friend, someone who you feel like you know intimately and care deeply about, which makes their pain and struggles feel like your pain and struggles. More than once I've cried reading your writing, and I started reading about a couple days ago. I'm completely addicted, pulling out my phone and compulsively reading any chance I have. Now that I've reached this stopping point, I have no idea what to do with myself. Therefore I eagerly await the next chapter. Keep up the good work, and if you have any free time, will to copy/paste an email, and energy to type, I'd love advice on how to improve my own writing.
Bunches of love!
schedule February 20, 2012 at 12:00 AM
OMFG! Just found this and it's fucking amazing! I've been looking for a story like this and I found it~ -happy dance- I've kind of grown attached to Ethan for some reason.. he's just so loveable!! ♥ Update soon please ^^
schedule January 2, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I sat down to this at eight and now it's three in the morning.

I hope you're happy with yourself.

I mean really, how do you do that? The story starts out feeling so simple and abit cliche but then it starts to spiral, spiralling further and and further out until it's this huge tale of poverty, wealth, politics and a relationship that took me for one hell of a bumpy ride.

I found Fens character to be increadibly irritating at first, he was just so manipulative and pig headed, to be honest he seemed to have his head stuck up his own arse a lot of the time. I spent the first few chapters wanting to punch him in the face. But then as things moved on he started plaining out and I started to like him more, blaming his earlier unlikableness on the fact that he is essentially an alien and maybe he just didn't "get" how human relationships worked and was learning as he went along.

BUT THEN YOU THREW A TOTAL CURVE BALL AND I WANT TO RIP HIM TO SHREDS AGAIN!

But then Ethan slapped him. That made me feel better.

Which brings me to Ethan, I rather like Ethan. I don't usually read angst fics because I get sick of reading people wallow in their own self loathing for chapter upon chapter, so Ethan was a very pleasant surprise. He's a little suicidal and he tends to fall into holes of despair all the time, but his sadness is believable and never feels like its being repeated. More importantly, when he falls into a hole he always crawls back out instead of just sitting at to bottom and crying for his mommy like so many other angst fics. Watching him struggle and get back up again was by far the best parts of his character and I shudder to think what will happen now that his foundations have been ripped from under him.

And I also absolutely loved the world you built, the animals, the buildings and even the clothes are described in great detail and are very immersive to read, though i doubt that every hotel in America has a convenient forest area behind/near it.

My one major gripe is the sex. There is just to damn much of it. I know that this is ADULTfanfiction and all but is it really necisary to have such long sex scenes in almost every chapter? Don't get me wrong, they're all very well written and the first few of them are important to the story and the relationship, so I quite enjoyed them. But after those first few scenes they just started getting in the way of the story and I wished that the scenes would just fade to black already so I can get on with the plot. After chapter ten I was getting sick of the constant humping and I just skipped the sex entirely. If it was a PWP or erotic fiction I would get it, but its not, you've created an immersive fantasy story that centres around a convulted relationship and a political scandal, as such I think it would hold up fine with only the first 2 scenes. The amount there is here just gets boring after a while and bogs the story down. I do wish you would cut some.
schedule May 29, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I'm really the last person who could ever lecture anyone about not updating a story for a long time, so I will try to not do any of that, haha. But oh my gosh. This story is so great and it just cut off at a very sad place for Ethan and Fen. I feel horrible for Fen and horrible for Ethan, they both have so much stuff they need to work through! And I don't trust that Asterac character. Anyways, I would just love to see a resolution to this story, since it's been so horribly long! I know you have a lot of things going on in your life (I have trouble updating too b/c I get sick of stories or I just don't have time or anything, and I totally know that might be going on with you) so I understand, but I am definitely waiting patiently for this story to be completed. (btw, I've been stalking the Rooftop club on ygallery, oh man... some great art there that got me back into this story!) Thanks for creating these wonderful characters!
person Mintgirl
schedule November 9, 2010 at 12:00 AM
You need to work on the 'yours' and 'you're.' Serious. This story is very good. However, I think you need to learn the proper meaning certain words like I just mentioned. Few sentences weren't correct either. All in all, good job though. Characters and plot are awesome. PLEASE UPDATE ASAP. Its been MONTHS 8D
schedule July 30, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Wooot! Great story! I've almost run out of tissues, heh heh. Is there going to be smut in the end? *is a perv*