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June 9, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I thought this story was lovely. It took a while to get to the smut, but I would much rather have a well formed plot and less smut than the other way around. Your characters were likeable, even the dog. ^_^
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April 21, 2008 at 12:00 AM
great job with this story!!!
ASOTA
ASOTA
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April 20, 2008 at 12:00 AM
okay: in chapter 4, the point of views switch from first to third to first:
"A cold weight, similar to feeling of a rather large ice cube, dropped into my stomach and I was left once more trying to sort through my thoughts as I sat in stunned silence. All this time it had been in front of me and I hadn’t seen it. The two of us were more like a married couple than most married couples I knew. Had I always thought of him like that? Like a life partner instead of a friend and a roommate? It seemed so strange to look back on their relationship now and realize…that they had always been like this. He couldn’t remember a time when Vince hadn’t been there for him. No matter what was going on or what he was doing at the time, Vince would drop whatever it was and come to his side when he needed him. It was Vince who had held him when he cried over stupid relationship problems. Vince who had picked up the pieces and put him back together. But never once in their long relationship had Vince ever come to him with his problems, not once had he ever cried in his arms over a heartbreak, because there hadn’t been anyone else to break his heart. All these years and Vince never once glanced at another person, didn’t even attempt to find another relationship. He had spent his whole life taking care of me…never complaining when things go too hard, never belittling me when I cracked under the pressure of life in general. Vince had always been there for me…at every twist and turn."
ASOTA
"A cold weight, similar to feeling of a rather large ice cube, dropped into my stomach and I was left once more trying to sort through my thoughts as I sat in stunned silence. All this time it had been in front of me and I hadn’t seen it. The two of us were more like a married couple than most married couples I knew. Had I always thought of him like that? Like a life partner instead of a friend and a roommate? It seemed so strange to look back on their relationship now and realize…that they had always been like this. He couldn’t remember a time when Vince hadn’t been there for him. No matter what was going on or what he was doing at the time, Vince would drop whatever it was and come to his side when he needed him. It was Vince who had held him when he cried over stupid relationship problems. Vince who had picked up the pieces and put him back together. But never once in their long relationship had Vince ever come to him with his problems, not once had he ever cried in his arms over a heartbreak, because there hadn’t been anyone else to break his heart. All these years and Vince never once glanced at another person, didn’t even attempt to find another relationship. He had spent his whole life taking care of me…never complaining when things go too hard, never belittling me when I cracked under the pressure of life in general. Vince had always been there for me…at every twist and turn."
ASOTA
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March 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I just finished reading and I have to tell you: it is wonderful. I love both of them, I love Jake's "dull head" and Vince's reactions... I love it, when you write that Vince isn't able to apologize in other way that cooking, and when Jake is angry and is'nt able not only tell him why, but even to understand himself why, before is almost late... And I love your happy end... It is wonderful story!
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February 7, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Is all of chapter 5 there? It sort of cuts off in the middle. I wanted to see what food he came up with for love and I really wanted to know Vinces reaction and is there a happy ending? If chapter 5 is all there, can you please write more? Please?
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February 7, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Thanks for fixing chapter 5, I have a happy ending! This is a great story!
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February 7, 2008 at 12:00 AM
thats better! i love the ending! its so sweet!
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February 7, 2008 at 12:00 AM
wait...chapter 5 is the last chapter??? i dont think this story is complete yet, "i" what? i think you should add one more chapter
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September 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Next chappter, next chappter, need next chapper, please? Oh and good story....now wheres the next chappter? *looking around wildley for it.*
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September 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I love this, and I think that this ending was frustrating, but really a great spot to leave at.