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August 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hi, VioletDemonEyes,
I liked the second chapter as well, the plot is going strong. I am surprized that Cole seems upset about becoming Yuan's mate. Isn't it a huge upgrade in status comparing to being a slave of lowly creatures? I mean, Yuan is making him legal. Unless if Cole planned on getting back home, where ever that is. We don't know much about his life before being captured at 21.
I noticed a few mistakes here and there; nothing major, but getting a Beta could be a good idea.
I liked the second chapter as well, the plot is going strong. I am surprized that Cole seems upset about becoming Yuan's mate. Isn't it a huge upgrade in status comparing to being a slave of lowly creatures? I mean, Yuan is making him legal. Unless if Cole planned on getting back home, where ever that is. We don't know much about his life before being captured at 21.
I noticed a few mistakes here and there; nothing major, but getting a Beta could be a good idea.
schedule
August 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
This story is very interesting, and I must say that I'm intensely drawn to Alma, even though he is more a nanny than anything else. Hopefully this character will get his own spotlight later?
All-in-all, this is well written, but there are several missing words or oddly ordered sentences that need repair.
All-in-all, this is well written, but there are several missing words or oddly ordered sentences that need repair.
schedule
August 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Blinking eyes wide. following up a strong first chapter with an ever stronger second. I like the characterizations- from the demon to the wedding planner- yetch and her toad man look forward to more
Cole is handling things better than I thought he would even with nightmares- is that how you are going to explain everything that has been done to him.
good idea
Cole is handling things better than I thought he would even with nightmares- is that how you are going to explain everything that has been done to him.
good idea
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August 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hi, VioletDemonEyes
Very good first chapter, I really like the plot. Is Cole 100% human or has some non-human powers? Unless he survived on his wits and will power alone, which is pretty cool as well. I like the feeling of the chapter, and the fact that Cole was not giving up. Good job :)
Very good first chapter, I really like the plot. Is Cole 100% human or has some non-human powers? Unless he survived on his wits and will power alone, which is pretty cool as well. I like the feeling of the chapter, and the fact that Cole was not giving up. Good job :)
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August 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
oh god I can't believe he just did that. XD 'learned to hide' my ass. I really like this, I'm just confused as to how old Cole is. I hope you're putting him in a somewhat better situation than what he's lived before. If not, oh well I like seeing characters get abused anyway. But I always prefer happy endings.
I can't wait for you next chapter.
I can't wait for you next chapter.
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August 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Please continue the story. cole seems very interesting and I want to see where you take him
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August 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Well, I like everything so far! And I hope that u wont make Cole suffer too much! T__T
Poor guy! I can't wait for more! Hopefully, u'll update soon!! ...pretty plz?? *hugs*
Poor guy! I can't wait for more! Hopefully, u'll update soon!! ...pretty plz?? *hugs*
schedule
August 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
MATED?????/THAT A GOOD ONE!!!!
schedule
August 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
awww poor Cole. maybe the dragonlings... draclings...hatchlings? Fine! dragon babies can help heal him. There's nothing like good ol' innocence to cure evil memories. pffft who am I kidding? Children are eeeeevil. There vicious behind those sweet angelic smiles. I hope he does not have to deal with seven(?) little monsters especially if they're all the same age...and hungry. *gasps* Oh noes the horror!
I have quuuuuestions!
Q.1: Do dragon babies hatch from eggs?
'Cause then they would be really small or really big depending on what size their supposed to be. Like lizard size or human creature sized. Or they could just be born the human way. But that wouldn't be any fun would it? I feel sorry for yuan he lost his mate, maybe he'll find a new one. yaaays! The babies get a new mommy, i wonder who was taking care of them before?
Q.2 Are dragon people cold blooded?
There really isn't a reason why I'm asking. seriously absolutely no reason at all. (yeah right) I just wanna know because I think it'd be cool if they were. Except for when sleeping, that wouldn't be good at all unless you have a fever, like an allergic reaction to a weird fruit or something...
That's it I don't have anything other to say. oh wait I just remembered he has to plan a wedding. ha! that's going to be hell especially with babies around. Poor thing he won't get any sleep. Ooor maybe he'll be exhausted enough he won't have any horrible nightmares. hmmm I'm done! and hooray for spell checkers.
I have quuuuuestions!
Q.1: Do dragon babies hatch from eggs?
'Cause then they would be really small or really big depending on what size their supposed to be. Like lizard size or human creature sized. Or they could just be born the human way. But that wouldn't be any fun would it? I feel sorry for yuan he lost his mate, maybe he'll find a new one. yaaays! The babies get a new mommy, i wonder who was taking care of them before?
Q.2 Are dragon people cold blooded?
There really isn't a reason why I'm asking. seriously absolutely no reason at all. (yeah right) I just wanna know because I think it'd be cool if they were. Except for when sleeping, that wouldn't be good at all unless you have a fever, like an allergic reaction to a weird fruit or something...
That's it I don't have anything other to say. oh wait I just remembered he has to plan a wedding. ha! that's going to be hell especially with babies around. Poor thing he won't get any sleep. Ooor maybe he'll be exhausted enough he won't have any horrible nightmares. hmmm I'm done! and hooray for spell checkers.