rate_review Reviews

...How in the world Anthony thinks they can still be friends after that, I have no clue. -___-;;

Wow, I can kinda understand why he does this (kinda, even though that seems to much if I think about it hehe), but he's waaaaay to mean to poor Shawn! Aw, I feel bad for him...lol. Cant wait to see how this turn of events change things :)!! Great chapter, update soon please!!!

I like the concept. Enemies to lovers is highly enjoyable.
You're spelling and grammar are fine and your sentences are not awkwardly worded.
However, Shawn as a character is a whiney little ass. As of yet, I see no reason for his intense attitude towards his mother. Maybe you're gonna explain that later, but right now, it just seems like he's being an average teenager and blowing every little disagreement/misunderstanding out of proportion.
At the start of the story they just seemed distant and then abruptly he's running away for no justifiable reason I can grasp. Sure his mom is now an alcoholic but that feels like something you've just tacked onto the end as a dues ex machina to get him out of the house.
Also, the way he looks at the world is full of almost ridiculous hyperbole; he's away for 3 (maybe more?) days and he's surprised he remembers where his locker is? I understand that he's going through something stressful and painful, but at the same time, it feels like he's brought it entirely upon himself. As opposed to suffering through a situation (i.e. divorce, bereavement) it's as if he's made his own life unnecessarily difficult (i.e. doing drugs or vandalism). As I said before, he's like the stereotypical self-centred teenager.
As far as a lead character goes, I don't think there's anything redeemable in him. He'll make out with Anthony one moment, then yell at him the next for no reason, then try and coax him into a relationship minutes later. I know that Anthony has been tormenting him for years, but almost every conversation they have that isn't about Anthony being gay or them being together is about Anthony apologising and Shawn yelling. If it was really that bad, he should either completely turn his back on Anthony or, since he loves him, just give in and forget it. That he keeps coming back to it makes him act like a child with a grudge rather than a haunted victim. I feel no sympathy for him whatsoever and find myself wishing he'd simply grow up already. If I'm supposed to care about him, you've failed in your attempts.
Anthony reads a little like a bi-polar disorder; one minute he wants to be nice, the next he can't be near him; one moment he wants sex, the next he's assaulting him. It's like he only has two settings: horny/friendly and defensive/violent. Having said that, he's still a better character than Shawn. Outside of school at least, he's far more reasonable and personable than Shawn.
I skimmed your other reviews, and they all seem pretty positive, so I guess I am the minority in my opinion. Despite this, I hope you will take my thoughts into consideration and re-examine your story. If you don't think there's anything wrong with it, keep writing it as it is.
(Side note: "Sex now. Escape later." Yellow, right?)

Stupid Anthony is like 1 step forward 10 steps back.
What a bum XD

What a dick!

Wow, you did great with this story! I love your characters, you gave them full personalities so we can see the bad and the good that comes with them. Cant wait to see what happens! Great chapter, update soon please!!!

Uh oh... Why do I have the feeling this won't end well for Shawn? ...Then again, I always have a bad feeling after a cliffhanger. X3

This was an awesome update!!! I just LOVED it!!!
I really want to know how things will turn out for them!!
Plz update again soon! I want more of this story!!!! >_______< lol

Thanks for the update!

I am...speechless. You blow me away every time. Seriously, dude.

See you next time! =D

Oooh, I love the story. Please update soon! I've seen it floating around a bit here and can't figure out why it took me this long to read it.