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June 16, 2009 at 12:00 AM
................WOW. That was amazing and disterving.
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July 30, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Wow this story gave me chills at the end and I couldn't help exclaiming: "Holy fuck!" lol great story! As the previous reviewer said, if it was extended, with Jake and Devon getting to know each other, maybe a bit of Vincent's thought process or his reasoning behind his abusive personality. I liked the history you gave for Devon and Vincent's relationship. The result being Devon snapping like that is so realistic. I like your writing style!
A little bit of speculation on why Devon killed Jake...maybe he felt guilty for being attracted and drawn to him, because of his devotion to Vincent?
All in all, very good story :)
A little bit of speculation on why Devon killed Jake...maybe he felt guilty for being attracted and drawn to him, because of his devotion to Vincent?
All in all, very good story :)
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August 14, 2007 at 12:00 AM
it was a good concept, very good...only i have some constructive criticizm...
if it were longer, you could have the story expand more nad more to where you had more details of each major event. such as buying the gun and meeting jacob. it was written well and I liked it but would have liked it better if it were just a tad bit longer so he could get to know Jacob more and it seemed to me near the end that Devon was losing his sanity.
lol i thought it was great overall though...lol great great great for a one chapter story. :D
if it were longer, you could have the story expand more nad more to where you had more details of each major event. such as buying the gun and meeting jacob. it was written well and I liked it but would have liked it better if it were just a tad bit longer so he could get to know Jacob more and it seemed to me near the end that Devon was losing his sanity.
lol i thought it was great overall though...lol great great great for a one chapter story. :D