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schedule
August 7, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Brutal and erotic--it was both and I liked it. I found myself squirming during certain parts of it (both the 'ooh that's good' squirm and the 'ouch, that's gotta hurt' squirm) I look forward to reading chapter 4!
Keep up the good work,
Linda
Keep up the good work,
Linda
schedule
August 7, 2007 at 12:00 AM
that was good i can't wait to see whats next thank you
schedule
August 5, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Oooh, this is quite interesting! I like it.
Kinda want to know more about Vitale, who he is and how he got that scar...
Can't wait to find out her name :D
More, please!
Kinda want to know more about Vitale, who he is and how he got that scar...
Can't wait to find out her name :D
More, please!
schedule
July 31, 2007 at 12:00 AM
the striptease scene could use some work (confusing, but good) but it doesn't really need it, but, athought very hot, its kind of confusing they entire why V is so important, but it's good enought that you'll keep reading to find out
schedule
July 31, 2007 at 12:00 AM
The plot thickens--It would seem that Vitale will turn out mean and cruel to her like every other man who has paid for this poor girl...this is a superb story and I await to see what happens in Chapter 3!
Linda
Linda
schedule
July 31, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I understand what type of world you're trying to create, and I applaud you sincerely for your attempt. I should also applaud you for your superb writing style and your exceptional sense of description. Your spelling and grammar are flawless, and your characters, from what little they've chosen to reveal and from what *you've* chosen to reveal, have plenty of foundation.
Keep up the good work. I'll be keeping an eye on this one.
Keep up the good work. I'll be keeping an eye on this one.
schedule
July 29, 2007 at 12:00 AM
you have a good start can not wait for the next chapter
schedule
July 29, 2007 at 12:00 AM
A nice prelude, and a good way to introduce (or reintroduce, depending on how you look at it) yourself among us.
schedule
July 28, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Very good beginning! Do continue with this story!
Linda
Linda
schedule
July 28, 2007 at 12:00 AM
What the hell? Get out of AFF!? You don't need to, well, no one's forcing you. In fact, stay, cuz this fic of yours got my attention!