rate_review Reviews

Prologue

I was thinking about that Prologue again
and thought it sooooooooo sad! The voice of Claudius
of all people made it sooooo affective. I admit,
I needed a few tissues!!!!

Thanks,
R

thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u
for the new chappie

Hmmm,

I liked the ending of Caramel very much. In fact I think that Caramel was my favorite book as I think you have developped as a writer and it is reflected in the deepening of the characters and their relationships, particularly the maturing of Sex. The balance of reflection, action and smut was better than the first two books and there was a complexity in the plot that was missing in the first two books. It also makes a great deal of sense that if there is a legitimate question over the succession to the throne during a time of war then a quick resolution is appropriate although potentially untimely.

I don't like the prologue to Clove for two reasons. Not because I disagree with the plot (although I think there are some inconsistancies between the prologue and chapter 1 that are a bit irritating) but because I don't like expository writing. I do not think that Claudius has anything to say that you cannot say with some skillful writing in the main body of the book. For example in chapter one we find out that Skel thinks he has been with OW for 5 years. In chapter three we find that it has been 7 years and this is has a dramatic impact on our empathy for him. I don't believe that it is necessary for you to explain it all to the reader before the story starts proper and I think that if you reveal all of the info piece by piece to Skell and the reader at the same time you will create more drama. It is also out of character with the previous narrative style. I have read you rant and while I hear your reasoning - and I have no real issue with the 7 year gap, I do hope that you are not going to make too big a feature of the winglets. This series already ahs an excess of central characters without adding children. However they do add a different flavour (and my 8 month old has bundles of personality).

I liked Chapter one and thought you made a good job of explaining what Skel has been through however it then seemed far too easy for him to be rescued. A few more chapters of Skell's time with OW would set up his relationship with Kevin better and give it some depth, give the impression of time passing and also create more drama and empathy for his enduring suffering. The "rescue" would then seem more timely. Chapter two and three seem too easy, too coincidental and therefore unsatisfying. (Although I realise I am in a minority here and you have some rabid fans, I prefer the struggle to the easy fix).

Question 1 - If Armour had given up and was acting as the perfect killer again what was he doing hanging in a bar with Claudius? Surely Marcus would be the one to find X even if he and X are not best buddies. And would it really be so easy for Armour to just come back and pick up where he left off? I thought that X at least had hardened into a somewhat callous killer while in the care of OW. Having him melt into Armour's arms (even if he is physically conditioned) seems a bit off although I do think you handled the mixture of truth and lies well.

Question 2 - What happened to the war with the Britta? A war with both the Lycans and OW will become very complex very quickly and surely OW are the enemies of both the Vampires and the Lycans.



Anyway, that is my 2 cents worth of comment and crit.
I really enjoyed Caramel and hope that this book continues with the great plot and characterisation that you began writing.
Please don't just bow down to the rabid fans who want to see X and Armour bonking like bunneis (not that a bit of vampire bunny bonking is bad).

have a fun holiday

Fleur

I am sorry if that review was a bit harsh, I can't seem to get my criticism hat off, it's a professional problem.
When I say that I liked Chapter 1 I mean the chapter after the prologue all the way to the club scene where everything changes. I realise you have only written two chapters not three (my bad).

Any way I do still enjoy this series so my criticism can be ignored at will :)

Fleur

Sorry this is not another review really... but,

Did you know that cloves are used as a local anesthetic? Saliva in the mouth activates the oil in the clove and causes localised numbing. They also temporarily eliminate taste all together. So too much clove leads to an inability to taste anything else.

Just something to think about when talking about essence of cloves

Fleur

i managed to find a PC, after eons.

i couldn't stand not knowing what will happen. but i wasn't lucky.(" me crying ") this isn't unusual for you, i am starting to get worried.

i hope you are ok and that you are not ill or that something happen to you.

if you can't update then don't!!!! your health comes first, but please give us a sign that you are well. PLEASE!!!!!!

Alright, X is coming back:)

It was nice when I was reading this from the beginning and you already had chapters upon chapters written. But now--now I have to WAIT for updates? Ahhh! I'm so anxious here and I check back daily to see if you have updated yet. I never thought it would be like this. I just want X to remember and I'm ready for the brothers to slowly make an introduction as well (mostly Sex, so Claudius can come around more. I heart Claudius). As you can tell, I can't wait for an update and nice chapter--by the way!

Kiix,
Yeah buddy, that's the way to bring back an amnesiatic mind--SEX~the act not the person ;} I love the way you are starting this one. Hopefully you're enjoying your vacation-- we'll miss you while you're gone.
Asyen

I need more! Claudius must be dying about not being with the brothers - both, as a lover and a father. Oh god, the poor family needs a therapist or a hellcat. Where are the hellcats? (2 or 3 right now?)

Have a nice vacation!