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July 5, 2008 at 12:00 AM
You were doing a good job. You should really consider continuing this story. Please update soon.
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July 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
*Does happy dance* Yea no more authors not being the only thing.
I love the story. Its so different. Please keep updating.
I love the story. Its so different. Please keep updating.
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July 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Wow! That is amazing!! I can't wait for the next chapter!
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July 21, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Oh god this is good. I really love the twist where it has to be willing as well.
Please keep it up, its awesome. <333333333 You are a great writer.
Please keep it up, its awesome. <333333333 You are a great writer.
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July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
and the plot thickens
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July 10, 2007 at 12:00 AM
this story is awesome!! I really like what I've read so far!! pls update and email me when u do!! can wait for the next chapter!!
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July 5, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hot one second could the next.
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June 21, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I like it. Well like anything with vampiers. Update soon!
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June 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hello again, I must agree, this is a much better start!
Though, *cringes* I have some squirks with a couple of issues.
One is your pacing, though it is much better than your first try, it still seems to be going a little too fast. Phillip rejects the idea of becoming attached to a girl in one chapter, and quickly changes his mind in the next. It just doesn't seem all too, plausable. (As far as fictional stories go. :P )
I can honestly say that it is important for your story to go at a decent pace, rushing the characters can make the story come out faster, but it will hurt your reader's attachment to them in the end. We'll end up reaching the end of the story and not really warm up to anybody. :P
My next squirk is your punctuation and grammar. :) It's not that I'm a grammar nazi, ('cause I ain't :P ) it's just that well, you should probably look over your work a little more before you post. A beta could possibly help you with that, if it's something you normally don't catch.
I hope you don't think I'm just nitpicking, I just want you to have the best possible look for your story. :) Again, if you have any questions, please feel free to e-mail me or contact me in any way. I hope this proves useful. :)
Adara G.
Though, *cringes* I have some squirks with a couple of issues.
One is your pacing, though it is much better than your first try, it still seems to be going a little too fast. Phillip rejects the idea of becoming attached to a girl in one chapter, and quickly changes his mind in the next. It just doesn't seem all too, plausable. (As far as fictional stories go. :P )
I can honestly say that it is important for your story to go at a decent pace, rushing the characters can make the story come out faster, but it will hurt your reader's attachment to them in the end. We'll end up reaching the end of the story and not really warm up to anybody. :P
My next squirk is your punctuation and grammar. :) It's not that I'm a grammar nazi, ('cause I ain't :P ) it's just that well, you should probably look over your work a little more before you post. A beta could possibly help you with that, if it's something you normally don't catch.
I hope you don't think I'm just nitpicking, I just want you to have the best possible look for your story. :) Again, if you have any questions, please feel free to e-mail me or contact me in any way. I hope this proves useful. :)
Adara G.
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June 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I guess we know where Frederick got his childish attitude from. Hmmmm.
Nice re-start. Looking forward for more.
Nice re-start. Looking forward for more.