rate_review Reviews

God, you just know how to raise a person's hopes up and then shoot them down. When Brian came for Havar, I was thinking, "Yes, finally something good's going to happen for carrier." But nooooo, you had to ruin that. Why did Brian have to die? He was actually a decent guy:'(

And now your brining in another carrier to torture. Can we get some happy soon? Please? Just a little. Even when women were being oppressed, there were still some good men who loved their wives, sisters, mothers, daughters, etc and treated them well. I want to see some of that, maybe with Jesse. Your story is just depressing me.

You have an impressive amount of raw talent. You've taken an idea that is extremely difficult to execute well, and done just that. Your descriptions, what few you give, are crisp and vivid. And the emotions, behavior and personalities of the characters come off as being real and grounded in the culture you present.

I do wish at times you'd give us a bit more descriptions, allowing us to see the characters and where they are a bit better. And I wish you'd double space between paragraphs to make it easier to read. There are a few technical problems, mostly with sudden midparagraph POV switches.

But these are all things that you will pick up on and improve on as you write. The sheer amount of vision and talent you have can't be learned. You are going to go far. Keep writing.

I think I've pretty much hate this situation of feeling trapped where you have no choice what so ever. And yet I still pushed on to read to the last November part, you've brought tears to my eyes reading how hard this is for Jesse to accept, I love that he fought with each step, but I hate how unfair these guys get treated. You'd think they'd have some kind of rights in this world.

Bah! look at me you've turned me into blubbering babble foot, lol.

Don't get me wrong I really did like reading, I'd just like to see something happy for at least one of them... will Jesse get his happy in Michael?

I think I felt the most bad for Ortega, sheesh. ::shakes head::

thank you for some hope and civility. i look at michael and i see the possibility for something better. and if he can be a crucial influence to james maybe just maybe ortega will be fine. i can just imagine what is going on at rowe house. got to maintain the survival of the species right. thank you for michael kabi he is what we all need.

This is ! really fascinating story! Very brilliant! I've already grown seriously attached to the characters of the "carriers". All complex in their own way. I'm glad at least Jesse found someone who truly seems to put his best interest at heart.

Really looking forward to reading more!

i feel something coming on.

These are such long chapters. What exacly happens at Rowe House? Are they all carriers? However I do not want to find out if you are going to send one of these carriers there.

Maybe Michael will rub off on James.

to be shown Rowe house had to be absolutely terrifying and made Jesse realize how perilous his life really is. Poor Havar to - I dont think many of the spouses are as supporting to the carriers as Michael which is the absolute s...
would make wanting to continue humanity and have kids that could be carriers nonexistant-

Jesse and Havar. Two guys who just make you want to cry for them. Jesse's situations seems like it's improving, but he still just makes you so sad for him. The last part of the chapter made me just want to cry for him. Things on the outside seem good. He has a guy who really seems to care for him and he seems to be accepting his position, but he still seems unhappy.

And Havar, his situation just kind of sucks all the way around doesn't it. Almost a parallel of Ortega's situation. He's raped, gets pregnant and is stuck marring his rapist. Ortega seems stuck, I hope Havar will find some way to escape. And maybe there'll still be some hope for Ortega.

You know all they need is for someone in a really important position, one of those pushing for this situation to find themselves changed. Then you'll see things get better for the carriers real quick. It's all good to subjugate people as long as your not one of those being subjugated.