rate_review Reviews

I've never read original fiction but my friend suggested you and then we read it at the smae time and made comments over msn. You made us cry. It was well written and a great read but I almost hated it when I realized you had sucked me in and only kept getting sadder and sadder. I kept hoping the next chapeter would be happier and then it wasn't. I went through all 32 chapters like that. Now I'm waiting for the next one anxiously hoping that maybe in the next chapter it will be happier. Good job!

Hello, just wanted to say that these last chapters have been AMAZING. I think everything is moving forward very well and raising plenty of questions. How is Havar going to act with Yavisk if he's stuck with him for life? is he going to hate him now? (I hope so!! Bastard deserves it.) I can't imagine them holding a conversation (like James and Ortega in the jeep before James' assault, when they talk about their families and the city), and with the way some of the men are acting, I think that they deserve having their partners either ignoring them or hating them or just acting apathetic towards them in their daily lives. (Actually, I think that shows with Clint and Sloane, when Clint remarks that Sloane listens to him but hates him.) Also, Yavisk seems pretty set on the idea that Havar and Brian were lovers. Sometimes I wonder about Yavisk and his character: is he jealous, is he a control freak, is he high on battlelust, does he even like Havar in a remotely romantic way... Heh, as you can see, they're probably my favorite couple to read about here, not to say that the others are uninteresting, because they definitely are not!

For example, the insight into Sloane and Clint's life was very nice and humorous. I went back and read the beginning again, and when the group's seating arrangements in the cafeteria are described, Sloane sits alone, and that felt a little sad. And then I realized here that he isn't happy with his own life, no matter how much he forces the others to try and be complacent. This part about their relationship was very insightful and funny:

"I just want him to stop acting like a bitch and be nice for once."
James raised both eyebrows in surprise.
"Sloane is very nice to you."
"Only because he's scared of me; not because he really likes to do that."

And it was funnier in an ironic way when the next day, Clint starts mouthing off again.

Then there's Michael and Jesse. Their relationship is really nice and Michael is really understanding. I love Michael. In a world of post-chauvinist/misogynists, he is very, very refreshing. I also liked how you wrote about their first time together--Michael making a face when Jesse asks "anxiously" about the condoms really set off a feeling in my stomach, it was very affecting.

I'm also very interested in Tiger and Miljan. Tiger's dad seems very protective of his son, and I think that is very touching. Also, Tiger is pretty funny (How old are you? Seventeen...fifteen...twelve, hahaha) and Miljan has this matter-of-fact attitude that is amusing but makes me cringe (like all these abusive officers...ah it makes me angry that they can be so domineering when the carriers obviously look "miserable," like when Tiger is going through his change, and I wish the carriers could inflict that emotional pain back on them somehow or encourage them to change their attitude big time) with his lecture about obedient carriers. Still, Tiger seems tough and rebellious in a naive way, and I look forward to see what he does.

Also, I just want to say that the diction and the development in this story is awesome. Sloane 'offers' that compliment about the necklace, Yavisk says that he gives Ortega what he 'demands', not deserves; this is all diction that really enforces the atmosphere of the story. It gives me goosebumps. Also, I think the manipulation of the media and all is handled very well, like with how they turn the escape incident into a kidnapping incident.

Anyway thank you so much for the updates! I read chapter 30 and I was thinking about it...and then lo and behold I check back, there's c.31!!...and then more thinking about it, and then checking again and CRIPES it's c.32!!... And now, I really hope there is more to read soon, the suspense is killing me! Anyway, great story and great job!

-lili

This story keeps getting more and more depressing with each chapter! But I can't NOT read it. Darn!

The story just gets worse and worse. Brian seemed like a nice man, but it doesn't matter. You mentioned some carrier activists. What are they? Havar will be in hell, but, will he go to Rowe House?

Where is the humanity? I am still wondering about Havar. Will he be allowed to go to the Center or stay and be a sex toy for Yavisk since the Center cannot obviously care for him? I hope he doesn't get pregnant now. Yavisk will think it's Brian's baby and possibly kill it. Is Sergeant V.D.'s kindness an isolated incidence? I am hoping men treat their flesh and blood kindly, perhaps they might be inspired to care equally well for their mates.

I love this story so much. I really do. I wish the chapters were longer, tho, 'caus every chapter leaves me with a urgent need for more. Its like I'm addicted to this story. please post more soon~~

I'm just going to repeat myself here: This is simply brilliant fascinating! It's feel is so frighteningly realistic.
Well, it was pretty clear what Brian really wants so I'm not surprised. It feels like Jesse got the only trustworthy man (who isn't a carrier). I'm glad Havar isn't naive enough to fall for his lies and hope he gets away before it's too late.

I just can't wait for you to update!

Oh this is so awesome. They are going to break him out. But what will they do to him? Good intentions, I hope. These carriers have ALL the, um, blesssings(?) that come with women? That is surprising.

I change my mind. Not so awesome. Havar is more than likely going to end up dead. I am surprised to see that there isn't that much new technology than the present time. Havar and Brian's movements will let us see the outside Union Land. I want to know more about normal people, rather than just soldiers. Was that Sloane's salvation I see?

i never saw that coming but i guess it would be bound to happen. great chapter updates. i'm liking brian so far. gotta love a man with a gun!