rate_review Reviews

Interesting Story I'd like to read much more...Don't let anyone discourage you babe...just have fun! Write what pleases you! I didn't have any trouble understanding what you wrote... maybe because I am not a grammar or punctuation fanatic either... just write from the heart and use the muse of Imagination. To me that is much more important to me than placement of a comma, or Lousy period. Who wants a bossy beta...telling you what to do...He he! G

PS. One of these I am going write a story with no punctuation at all, just to see what happens!

Aw ;-; poor priest boy! I liked it very much...please say that you're going to update.

Romanticfae

Intriguing! You have some punctuation problems but I like how your story is going. How old was Orion when he was taken? Please, write more soon.

Kiix

Wow, this might have been interesting if it wasn't one long sentence. You really need some grammar checking, periods and commas, capitalization. Perhaps a Beta would help you there. Now, I am not putting down your work but if you want to interest readers it helps to make the reading interesting and easy to decipher. I didn't even make it past the first paragraph.

If you would like help with this please email me at mewsama2@aol.com, I would be happy to look over your work. Good luck.

Mitts

While I do agree with Morbid_Incubus about how badly this story needs a beta reader, I did manage to read, and enjoy, the whole chapter. But, if Morbid_Incubus is offering his/her services to you, may I suggest you snatch at their offer with both hands? This chapter would read sooo much better for a little dot and dash work, lol..
Keep it going, I look forward to the next chapter....

I like it so, and I'm looking forward to reading more of it :)