rate_review Reviews

muy lindo y muy sexy, gracias, ana maria

Very very hot...now what happens to her?...did i mention it was hot?

that was beyond hott!!! hope you update soon!

Primal. Animalistic. Amazing! Loved how you wrote dialouge in your sex scene! I don't see that hardly enough, but your Lemon fulfilled everything! I loved the forced submission of the guy. You didn't make him a whimp! Good work. Keep it up! ^_^

pleaseeeee continuee thisss
and can u tell us what the relationship between them is

Oooh, okay, you've caught our attention. Don't leave us hanging too long. xD Continue!

If this is your first solely sex fic, it's a great start. I definitely has potential, if you expand on the story a little more. Even if it is a PWP you need to elaborate a little more on your characters. I mean, all I know about the woman in your fic is that she has brown hair and green eyes. (No problem with hair or eye color :) ) But her body type isn't described, her ethical background, nothing much really.

Your male character isn't described at all, other than the obvious private areas. I don't really know what he looks like, it wasn't ever made clear. Next is the length of the piece, it's long enough to give some description of the act, but, well, I find it to be a little too short to give anyone a decent, err, "fix." Unfortunately with Erotica/Sex fics, the act has to be far more, "involved" in order to please the reader, as it is obvious they are looking for a fic in this section specifically for the sex.

I hope you don't take this as an attack on you, it is just an honest observation of your work. I understand the eagerness to post your work and get feedback, but sometimes taking it a little slower will give you better rewards, (In this case positive reviews) and far more satisfaction.

Adara Giovanni