rate_review Reviews

Nice story so far. It looks like it has a lot of potential, and I'm interested to see what happens between Alic and Kein. My only suggestion is on the dialogue: it comes off as a little scripted at points. Like when he asks her what she has to lose, "my virginity... my love" sounds a little melodramatic and not what a very distraught girl would say. Try to keep it a little more natural. Otherwise, very interesting story. Hope you keep it up! ^^

Ok, this was really interesting... it left me wanting more. I like Alic, she has spunk. Let us know what happens next!

Suzie

Hmmm...this sounds like it'll be a lot of fun! Update soon please!