rate_review Reviews

Awww... they want each oter so much, this is very sweet... and hot. :)

It was nice to see you back! Although, it was a bit short, it was nice to see Lucas and Olivia trying to be together...

awwwww

That was a VERY HOT kiss! Good job!

Suzie

Hey, great story! The raw emotions you get from Olivia and (especially) Lucas are wonderful. Now that they've kissed, it'll be interesting to see what happens between them as their relationship develops.

Aside from a few grammar mistakes and some paragraph structure issues, this is fairly well-written. I can't wait for your next update! :)

I love it! You have to give me more...:)

liking the story
try to put more into a chapter please (as in make it longer PLEASE)
PLEASE UPDATE SOON

I LOVE THIS STORY I LOVE THE IDEA OF IT KEEP IT UP

The writing is good, but you need to keep a firmer reign on your TOs and TOOs. Also, in the fourth chapter especially, you keep switching between a first and third person narrative. This serves only to confuse and distract. Choose one and stick with it, or only switch at the begining of a chapter or section. It is often nice to write the story in the third person but write in the first person (you may even switch characters according to whose POV you think is the most fitting) for a few chapters here and there. That way the reader can follow the plot easily, but still get first-person emotions, reasons, or takes on a situation. All in all, however, I like this fic very much.

I love it! Please, update soon!