rate_review Reviews

I just found your story. It is very exciting and I am really enjoying it.
I hope you post next chapter soon.

Jahhan is tha bomb
i love the world that ur clever lil brain has come up with and cant wait for more Jahhan

I love watching your writing progress, SierraLuna. While Territory Slaves is certainly not a story for the fainthearted, it is a breath of fresh air in comparison to the pablum the usual offerings provide. I simply cannot abide stories that start out non-consentual in nature only to later learn that the victim immediately begins to enjoy what is being perpetrated upon him or her. I appreciate that Jahhan loathes his captors and what they are doing to him. It makes him much more real-to-life, and allows the reader to empathize with him.

I understand that some of your chapters, due to the story's very nature, are more action oriented than others, but I would love to read about the backgrounds of your main characters. Hopefully, this will be forthcoming in subsequent chapters (or even, perhaps, books). The absence of physical descriptions of your characters was pointed out by one of your readers. You indicated that this was a conscious choice on your part. While it does not bother me, I was wondering what your motivation was? It allows the reader to envision the physical characteristics of each person for themselves, yet many authors explain what they see in their mind's eye. care to share?

All in all, I enjoy Territory Slaves very much and encourage you to continue to write. It is a good mix of drama, suspense, and even some humor, and I am dying to know the outcome of your characters.

This is my third attempt to review this chapter. Gotta remember the site goes down sometime between 3 and 4 am!

First a comment on plot - you kinda have two going. One is the story of Jahann. The other has to do with Mijre and her plans for the territories.

Admittedly, I'm more caught up with Jahann and his relationships with the other slaves. This chapter covered that in spades.

I wasn't really surprised when Sesul took out his anger on Jahann, but I was surprised when he was sorry afterwards. And having him think about finding a decent life for Jahann after the worst is over was downright touching.

Kinnet has taken on a bit too much of her mistress' persona to be sympathetic, but it was fascinating to read her background. I'm guessing that anyone living in such brutality - and forced to participate - would find some sort of pleasure in hurting others. (Still have total sympathy for Cai, still angry at those who take such delight in torturing him...)

Maybe, at some point in the future, you could rework the story to make better sense of the plots and plans. Yes, I find the ficticious)torture and pain delighful, but it's easier to take if there's some reason behind it. Even if it's just Mijre's lunacy - but even that hasn't been explained.

This seems almost superficial - but it's not. I really appreciate your correct spelling and grammar. I give up pretty quickly on stories that lack these elements.

I am glad you removed the blocking. This allows me finally to tell you how I am happy each time you update.
I am eager to see what will come next. The story is really interesting, well built and I like the fact that you make no gift to your characters. This makes things so more intense and on the edge.

Hi SierraLuna, I have been reading this story and really enjoying it. You are such a great storyteller and I love your writing style. I was wondering if Jahhan will ever be reunited with his family. Also are Jahhan and Sesul going to remain together and will Jahhan find happiness by the end of story. I know you can't tell what happens but will ending be sad/tragic or fairly happy? I am along for the ride until the end and hope you continue to write us more entertaining stories. Great Job.

i love reading this story...i love my lil j man...i am hoping for a scene where Sesul is intranced by his singing or something like that. or if he was a great singer wouldnt they want to take advantage of that?
i just want for lil j to have something to set him further apart from the other slaves
is that mean of me? its just you do such a great job of making him come alive for me. its like i know him. i read this story over and over and hope for a new chap all the time! im so in lust with him and Sesul. is Sesul having feelings for that cai slave?
waiting for more .....

Yes - much younger. Like Cai.

Admittedly, I'll have to re-read the chapter to actually catch the plot.

I've become very fond of Jahhan - but isn't he a bit old to be a pleasure slave?

His newest training and his duties promise to be very interesting...

Sorry to hear Mirje doesn't have a 'good side'. Though I guess it should be fairly clear by now.

More and more fascinating. Poor Rylam is going to catch hell from every possible source.

I'm really looking forward to meeting Mijre and discovering her motivations. To be anti-slavery, she has a very strange way of showing it.