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June 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Review for Chapter 11 of The House that I grew up In:
Before I get to my criticisms, let me say that this particular love scene was the absolute pinacle of your writing thus far. Never before has the emotional connection between two of your characters been so prominent and justified by the actions that were taken, except maybe the first "Love" scene (the quotes for a reason) in Flame and Leah.
As for the critiscisms... there are few. However, I felt that this chapter was telegraphed from the very beginning. In almost all of your chapters I am left guessing about what is going to happen, or sometimes what is happening, but this one seemed to just tell you upfront what was going on. I don't necessarily guess that is a bad thing, but I like to be left in the dark. Also, the decision was kind of short and abrupt, and while this kind of decision is more befitting to the character changes going on, I would have liked to see a little more ... turmoil, shall we say, before taking that plunge. Also, I still (did I mention this yet, or is this feeling harbored?) feel that the rest of the characters in the story are taking a major back seat, especially the parents. Maybe you intended this, as it makes the characters and their changes stand out that much more, but I don't feel the level of relationship complexity as with Original Sin and other such titles.
Like pikacheese above me, I am hesitant to keep reading as I know the bump in the road is right around the corner. However, I trust your writing abilities will make it well worth reading, even if I don't always like the bumps in the road.
As always, keep writing and updating.
Avid Reader/Reviewer/Tirch Fan:
Adaee
Before I get to my criticisms, let me say that this particular love scene was the absolute pinacle of your writing thus far. Never before has the emotional connection between two of your characters been so prominent and justified by the actions that were taken, except maybe the first "Love" scene (the quotes for a reason) in Flame and Leah.
As for the critiscisms... there are few. However, I felt that this chapter was telegraphed from the very beginning. In almost all of your chapters I am left guessing about what is going to happen, or sometimes what is happening, but this one seemed to just tell you upfront what was going on. I don't necessarily guess that is a bad thing, but I like to be left in the dark. Also, the decision was kind of short and abrupt, and while this kind of decision is more befitting to the character changes going on, I would have liked to see a little more ... turmoil, shall we say, before taking that plunge. Also, I still (did I mention this yet, or is this feeling harbored?) feel that the rest of the characters in the story are taking a major back seat, especially the parents. Maybe you intended this, as it makes the characters and their changes stand out that much more, but I don't feel the level of relationship complexity as with Original Sin and other such titles.
Like pikacheese above me, I am hesitant to keep reading as I know the bump in the road is right around the corner. However, I trust your writing abilities will make it well worth reading, even if I don't always like the bumps in the road.
As always, keep writing and updating.
Avid Reader/Reviewer/Tirch Fan:
Adaee
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June 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I really enjoyed this chapter. It was so nice to see Christy making an effor to get along with Quinn. The 'Old Christy' is really starting to shine through now.
I loved the scene in the park. It was so sweet and romantic with a little bit of steaminess added to the mix. I am so glad Quinn admitted he's falling in love with her.
I loved the scene in the park. It was so sweet and romantic with a little bit of steaminess added to the mix. I am so glad Quinn admitted he's falling in love with her.
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June 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Well I have seen this story up, but it wasn't being updated frequently, so I decided to wait until there were a lot of chapters posted before I started to review. I'm so happy that I finally read the story, and I'm wishing I hadn't waited, but I must say I'm impressed that I waited a long as I have. Anyway this is a great story. I really like Annabelle. She is so mature, an just a truly good person, it makes you root for her. I really like Quinn as well, the dark brooding type but you can see how that just so wasn't him. He is no longer wearing leather in the summer and no longer chain smoking, he is keeping out of trouble and just maintaining healthy relationships with he mother, friends and Annabelle. I love how he is haunted by the rain and how Annabell has made his house a home. I'm rambling but I have 11 chapters I'm trying to comment on in one review. Sorry. I love Christy because I know someone just like her a poser. We were so cool in high school but college really changed her, but not for the better kind of thing. But we are still cool and I wonder how she can like any of her "friends" if we are friends. Although I don't know what secret Christy is hiding so I'm on pins and needles with that one, you have written that perfectly. OK so I can't wait for an update. I can't wait to see what happens when Karen finds out this relationship has taken a serious. Also I can;t wait until Annabelle tells Julia. I know she is cool and they are close but that is still a hard relationship to have with a parent. OK, so all this to say I'm happy you are back and please update soon!
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June 16, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Interesting chapter. How are they going to say good-bye? Update soon.
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June 16, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Whoohoo, another update!!
Ok, I know what I said in my last review about having conflicting feelings about whether or not they should really do it... But damn it was good that they finally did!
That was a beautifully written chapter, and it goes above and beyond your normal level of quality. I could really feel the emotion and connection between Annabelle and Quinn. That was about as perfect as any chapter of any story can get.
I wonder, is the super crazy drama just around the corner, then?
Ok, I know what I said in my last review about having conflicting feelings about whether or not they should really do it... But damn it was good that they finally did!
That was a beautifully written chapter, and it goes above and beyond your normal level of quality. I could really feel the emotion and connection between Annabelle and Quinn. That was about as perfect as any chapter of any story can get.
I wonder, is the super crazy drama just around the corner, then?
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June 16, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I loved, as always. I can't wait for more!!
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June 16, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I think chapter 11 was perfect. I felt all warm and fuzzy on the inside : )
Looking forward to the next one now!
Looking forward to the next one now!
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June 16, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hi Trich, I just want to write a review and say I love your stories. Especially Original Sin and Strangers in Passing, please finish that story. Please! I just read the first chapter of this story and I'm really liking it. I hope you're back writing for good cause you are one of the good writers on this site.
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June 14, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I make astrong request that you update, and Quinn. :)
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June 13, 2007 at 12:00 AM
As always loved it, I can't wait for more!!!