rate_review Reviews

You writing shows a consistent error in using "then" in place of "than." There are several word choice errors which are mostly phonemic in nature. There is a trick for proofreading for such errors that involves having someone read your writing exactly as written while you (I'm presuming that you are a native speaker of English here) listen to what is said. You will note an error immediately when you hear it spoken. Even if you cannot tell exactly what is wrong with a sentence, you will know that something is wrong with the sentence. It is an odd quirk of the way the human mind works that we have a perfect understanding of our Native Tongue's syntax, grammar, and known vocabulary; but we cannot access that perfect understanding when we are reading or writing because writing is an emergent artifact of our intelligence. In short, speaking and listening are natural to us while reading and writing are not.

AFF.com didn't add my 1st review so ...

I love Aaron and Nathaniel. I love their sweetness when together and their little separation. This story has all the ingredients I love in a story: sugar, spice, bitterness, misunderstanding, hold-outs, and appropriately displayed reaction/emotions and consistent plot/details. Poor Aaron when he was slowly withering away from a broken heart but I still like it that Nathaniel didn't love and go to him - much - just because he has no choice.

Awaiting for you to update, 3-4 years is a long time away from your passion *hint* ;) Thank you for posting.

i like your twist on fairy tales. I can't wait for the others. Are you updating anytime soon?
update please!!

I love your idea. Can't wait for more.

Excellent story. I can't wait for the update

MORE!! PLEASE MORE!! I really like where you went with the story and I look forward reading the other ones that you come up with!!

Ok, dude, you have a wonderful premise but you are in DESPERATE need of a beta. Ignore the other reviews because, though they are right in saying that the base story is great, the way you have actually written it is utterly terrible. Please, please get a beta. Your work would be sooo much better. Just find a beta, you need one. Really, really badly.

Oh, that was...breathtaking. It had the simplicity of a fairy tale and yet the smutty goodness of a slash fic. It was the perfect combination. I just had to review and tell you how much I adored it. Amazing job. Oh and that introductory chapter was brilliant as well. That last part, Once upon a time...they lived. Oh, it almost gave me chills. I can't wait to read the next one. Thank you for posting such great stuff. :)

Aww. I'm glad things worked out in the end. But don't they always in fairy tales? Heh. Lovely, and very well written. c:

Wow, you have a huge talent for writing. Lol, often these sorts of 'fairy-tale' fiction come out rather cliche or badly written, so I admit I was kind of expecting the worst, but I was totally shocked to find the story actually really rocked - you're really good at character development and making the audience feel for the characters and plot, and I just plain loved it ;) I thought he ending could have had more detail, lol, but then again I suppose the idea is to have a fairy-tale ending, and fair-tales are typically 'ever after' - but damn, that was a brilliant story!