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September 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Chpt 17 by far my favorite... amazing writing though, keep it up! I love the twists and turns, they're so unexpected.
Chpt 18 - ooh, I can't wait for Kaleb and Karl's reuniting... I wonder how Kaleb is feeling about all this! I mean, we have Sanderson's version of Kaleb's reaction when Karl was thought to be dead, and Karl undoubtedly perhaps exaggerated some of his memories, because they seemed so much bigger at the time. Can't wait for the next chapters!!!
~Spiritxx
Chpt 18 - ooh, I can't wait for Kaleb and Karl's reuniting... I wonder how Kaleb is feeling about all this! I mean, we have Sanderson's version of Kaleb's reaction when Karl was thought to be dead, and Karl undoubtedly perhaps exaggerated some of his memories, because they seemed so much bigger at the time. Can't wait for the next chapters!!!
~Spiritxx
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August 29, 2007 at 12:00 AM
THAT WAS GREAT!!! IT WAS...WOW!!! GREAT, GREAT, GREAT!!!!
Ok, time frame - I hadn't notice this until now, but this story is supposed to be in our future. When Phara and Sanderson are talking on deck about their peoples' history and mentions machines that flew or moved faster than horses. Also, the way Karl re-married Phara using words in read some where, which he beatifully re-worded a little. That is pretty interesting, I really thought the time frame was in the past. You know, like around Robin Hood times or Nights of the Round Table times.
Next, great fight scenes both on the ship with the raiders and the way Phara had to make her way back up the city to get Karl. Now I was shocked that Kayla died, I thought it was going to be a while, but I was really happy. I was near catatonic when Misha actually died and not by Phara, but Karl. I thought Misha would say something about the rape she was convicted of, I thought the way she never defended herself during the trail meant something was wrong. However, since she's dead I guess not - at least she figured out Phara was trying to help her. Although, I would have found out how she got the detailed info on Sandshore, who is actually her spy? The poison was a nice trick and I was really scared that she might die. Only the fact that I had another chapter to read - kept me in check.
Lastly, I can't beleive she slept with him. I will admit, I was a little disappointed with her. But she had been through so much I could cut her some slack. However, I just knew he would use it against her later. I now I really don't trust Sanderson, he just might want her bad enough to challege Karl. Phara is smart for wanting to teach him swordwork.
Nothing less than superb writing. I look forword to the next update.
Oh, thanks for giving up more than one chapter.
Ok, time frame - I hadn't notice this until now, but this story is supposed to be in our future. When Phara and Sanderson are talking on deck about their peoples' history and mentions machines that flew or moved faster than horses. Also, the way Karl re-married Phara using words in read some where, which he beatifully re-worded a little. That is pretty interesting, I really thought the time frame was in the past. You know, like around Robin Hood times or Nights of the Round Table times.
Next, great fight scenes both on the ship with the raiders and the way Phara had to make her way back up the city to get Karl. Now I was shocked that Kayla died, I thought it was going to be a while, but I was really happy. I was near catatonic when Misha actually died and not by Phara, but Karl. I thought Misha would say something about the rape she was convicted of, I thought the way she never defended herself during the trail meant something was wrong. However, since she's dead I guess not - at least she figured out Phara was trying to help her. Although, I would have found out how she got the detailed info on Sandshore, who is actually her spy? The poison was a nice trick and I was really scared that she might die. Only the fact that I had another chapter to read - kept me in check.
Lastly, I can't beleive she slept with him. I will admit, I was a little disappointed with her. But she had been through so much I could cut her some slack. However, I just knew he would use it against her later. I now I really don't trust Sanderson, he just might want her bad enough to challege Karl. Phara is smart for wanting to teach him swordwork.
Nothing less than superb writing. I look forword to the next update.
Oh, thanks for giving up more than one chapter.
schedule
August 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Ok, it took 2 days, but I forced the time to completely read this story from chapter 1 to 13. THIS STORY IS GREAT!!! YOUR WRITING IS GREAT!!!
I think Phara really needed a vacation, but something is wrong with that Stalker lady. Now I really didn't think banishment for a year was that bad, but when Karl tag along and explained his past...well. Then the trouble at the dock, I figured it wouldn't be good, but still getting sold... wow. I don't know how Kayla ended up there, but Misha's just a bitch and needs to be killed. I really can't tell if Sanderson is a bad guy, it seems he just looking for a woman with alot of spirt. He just needs to find a single and more willing one. OH, had having her cut her hair was just heartbreaking.
Now, I have read and am currently reading other stories where women are the dominant ones, but they never include men in that society. It's just a society of women interacting with other women, but in your society women are the care takers / protectors of the weaker sex - men. In this society women seduce men - just for sex, men wear kilts (like women wear skirts), and young boys need to be betrothed to young girls who ask for the hand. Every time a read a chapter I was amazed at your attention to detail on the role reversal. But it doesn't end their, you also include the bad part of role reversal. Brothel houses where men are the ones sold and then there is men getting rape by women. I really never thought about it before, but I guess women either could or would be just as good or bad as men are.
Also, your story includes the normal man dominant ones world, the Kingdom Man. I have never seen these two societies in the same story and so expertly written. I can not tell you how much I look forward to your next updates. Please update soon.
I think Phara really needed a vacation, but something is wrong with that Stalker lady. Now I really didn't think banishment for a year was that bad, but when Karl tag along and explained his past...well. Then the trouble at the dock, I figured it wouldn't be good, but still getting sold... wow. I don't know how Kayla ended up there, but Misha's just a bitch and needs to be killed. I really can't tell if Sanderson is a bad guy, it seems he just looking for a woman with alot of spirt. He just needs to find a single and more willing one. OH, had having her cut her hair was just heartbreaking.
Now, I have read and am currently reading other stories where women are the dominant ones, but they never include men in that society. It's just a society of women interacting with other women, but in your society women are the care takers / protectors of the weaker sex - men. In this society women seduce men - just for sex, men wear kilts (like women wear skirts), and young boys need to be betrothed to young girls who ask for the hand. Every time a read a chapter I was amazed at your attention to detail on the role reversal. But it doesn't end their, you also include the bad part of role reversal. Brothel houses where men are the ones sold and then there is men getting rape by women. I really never thought about it before, but I guess women either could or would be just as good or bad as men are.
Also, your story includes the normal man dominant ones world, the Kingdom Man. I have never seen these two societies in the same story and so expertly written. I can not tell you how much I look forward to your next updates. Please update soon.
schedule
June 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
*gasp*
Kudos and hugs for a couple more chapters on this story!
I can't wait to read more about Phara... here I was thinking something would have to happen now that she's left her home, but woah.... :)
~Spiritxx
Kudos and hugs for a couple more chapters on this story!
I can't wait to read more about Phara... here I was thinking something would have to happen now that she's left her home, but woah.... :)
~Spiritxx
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June 19, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I hope you continue with this novel. I'm really enjoying it.
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May 18, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Ickkk sorry to hear your computer fried.. that happened to me once, it was horrible.
Hopefully you'll find the rest of Kingdom Born soon because I really really like it *fingers crossed*
Can't wait to hear more about our favorite vampires either :D
~Spiritxx
Hopefully you'll find the rest of Kingdom Born soon because I really really like it *fingers crossed*
Can't wait to hear more about our favorite vampires either :D
~Spiritxx
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April 8, 2007 at 12:00 AM
im really starting to enjoy this slow start but it lookks like it will pick up yay another good story :)
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March 18, 2007 at 12:00 AM
A very promising start. Looking forward to more.
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March 18, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 1 Kingdom Born
I love rules! Sounds wierd but I like
to know which ones I'm breaking at any
given time.
Thanks for posting your story.
R
I love rules! Sounds wierd but I like
to know which ones I'm breaking at any
given time.
Thanks for posting your story.
R
schedule
March 18, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Yay yay yay! A story where women are the strongest!
Love this beginning, can't wait to read the rest. I also really like the fact that it's written in the first person, it gives a much more intimate feel.
xxSpirit
Love this beginning, can't wait to read the rest. I also really like the fact that it's written in the first person, it gives a much more intimate feel.
xxSpirit