schedule
March 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hmmm... not bad. A couple of things I would like to point out though;
This is actually porn, not erotica. Erotica isn't as explicit, and it normally doesn't have sex in it.
Two, the paragraphs should be double spaced. This was fairly difficult to read because of the lack of spacing.
Three, there were a couple of grammar and spelling errors. I believe it was the last paragraph that was started with "he" rather than "He",among others. Also, at one point you wrote "cud" instead of "could."
Outside of that stuff, it was interesting enough. Makes me wish my bf would surprise me when I'm in the shower. ^_^; Good job, for the most part. :)
This is actually porn, not erotica. Erotica isn't as explicit, and it normally doesn't have sex in it.
Two, the paragraphs should be double spaced. This was fairly difficult to read because of the lack of spacing.
Three, there were a couple of grammar and spelling errors. I believe it was the last paragraph that was started with "he" rather than "He",among others. Also, at one point you wrote "cud" instead of "could."
Outside of that stuff, it was interesting enough. Makes me wish my bf would surprise me when I'm in the shower. ^_^; Good job, for the most part. :)