AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Rise.

by jenner84

person Mitts
schedule May 5, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Mitts

Omg....Is Marik going to die? Marik can't die!

I noticed you used this phrase twice...Walker struck first...On the second time, I just thought it might be better to word it something like this...

Although Walker had struck first, Marik was prepared for it....

Hope you don't mind me saying anything, but it was just something that stuck out for me...
person jenner84
schedule May 5, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I don't mind; I wrote it that way because I liked the parallel structure and the choppy, going-back feeling it lent to the scene.
person lilian
schedule May 5, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Oh noo. I hope Marik is alright. And I'm entertaining this idea that Walker's badi is actually the mate whom Marik had taken before and who was stolen from him by Loban! lol.

Anyway thanks for the update, will be here for more!
person lala11
schedule May 4, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Ack! Ohmigod, so good & so sad!
person Anna Belle
schedule April 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Why do I have the feeling that Marik has a thing for Medin. Maybe i'm being ridisulous but he don't seem to think about Roan with the same foundness.
person Mitts
schedule April 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Mitts

I can't believe Walker! He really thought Medin would stay there with him, after betraying him? He'd better start running, now....
schedule April 29, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Please don't kill Medin. He was just a foolish kid...please. I really don't like Walker at first I felt bad for him because I thought Marik was being unfair. But after Medin got raped, I just wanted some one to skin walker alive. this was really good. keep up the good work.
person lala11
schedule April 29, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Wow, great chapter. I hope medin's going to be ok!
person lilian
schedule April 29, 2007 at 12:00 AM
! Oh no. I hope Medin is alright. Also, the part that explains how Marik found him and how much he really cherishes him was very insightful.

But are Marik and Roan mated now? I think that means married, or maybe they'ved mated but haven't bonded, if "bonded" means married and "mated" just means to get together? I remember Marik telling Roan he wouldn't touch him until after they were mated, but since they're already having relations and Roan might even be pregnant, I s'pose they went past that stage already XD

Thanks mucho for the chapter!
schedule April 29, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Awww! Poor Medin! I love your story and I even went through and started reading your other one. I just...it's original and totally awesome.