rate_review Reviews

I really like Jake for some reason. He's the most appealing character to me.
Damn me for overlooking this too many times =.-
I like this, please continue updating.

sooooory didn't mean for it to be so hard to spell but on to why im really here
DAMMMM THAT WAS HOT YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME MORE PLEASE
i'll stay fovever if i can have another chapie please PLEASE PLEASE

OMFG...

I discovered this story this morning, and couldn't wait to get home to read it. GAH! A cliffhanger, omgomgomg. So much is going on with the brothers and everyone around them. It seems like everything is falling into place. I can't believe that Cithru has CAM!!!!

Oh please say there is more like real soon. I can't wait to read what happens next.

i like this one too now u got me addicted plese please tell me you'll update

nice this one is even more addicting can't wait to see who get paired with who
just a suggestion but it think the brother should swith place i mean cam should still have cithru's mark but he should be with aimon but then again there's jake hope u didn't take him out of the show it also makes me wonder why he took the pen a t the police station
amn this is getting good please don't stop.
P.S sorry this review is so long hope i don't bore you anyway i'll check back soon
later

First of all, I want to tell you that I really enjoy this story.

Second of all, let me be a bit nitpicky. ^__^; You have a lot of grammar issues with confusing 'then' and 'than', and 'to' and 'too'. Especially in the last chapter.

'Then'= after that, 'than'= I would rather drink water than Coke; He was tanner than her.

'To'= preposition- he went to the movies; 'too'= it hurt too much.

The last grammar thing is the apostrophe ('), when you use 's after a noun it shows possession. I.E.- The demon's sword, people's stupidity, etc. No apostrophe is needed when showing a plural. The demons were attacking, the people were cowering in fear. When the apostrophe is after plural nouns (demons') it shows multiple possession. The demons' wrath (many demons were very angry)

One of irregularities is it's= it is, its= it possesses something, and its'= doesn't exist; and people's- many people own something.

Finally, I just want to brainstorm on the interrogator's reaction after Jake formed his resolution. I feel like the cop would be suspicious of a kid who looked terrified and was a suspect in his brother's disappearance and then suddenly looked like he found a resolve. I feel like he would be suspicious of the kid being alone and trying to kill himself. The thing you could do would have Jake draw the insignia in front of the cops telling them that if they let him do that, he would be able to explain everything better... or something. Or you could just have the cop not notice Jake's resolution.

But besides the grammar crash-course I really like this! I look forward to the next chapter! (And that of Pet) ^___^

Yo, just want to know if u'll continue this story *.* . It's really great and would be a waist if u abandon it :)) . (u can email me if u want ;3 )
Ur a very good writer and this story is more then worth it. ^_^
So if u do take my advice and continue then pls, pls, pls update soon! 0_0
I'll be waiting for an update or if u discontinue it pls email me so I know.
Bye bye for now! ^_~

The story is really cool. Pls update soon. U got me addicted.

Interesting story so far, update soon please.

i dont usually look in this section for some reason... not sure why, but i love this story, youde probably get more reviews if u added it to the slash or fantasy section