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February 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
This story gets more and more interesting! I am confused as to why Sara's notes/files keep disappearing? And how could 50 pages of notes just be erased??
To be honest, I think that it is too soon for Sara to get completely comfortable with having Laurence arouind--she should be scared out of her mind that he can turn on her at any time--he did try and strangle her but she seems to be completely easy with him. Hmmm.
I can't wait to read more!
Linda
To be honest, I think that it is too soon for Sara to get completely comfortable with having Laurence arouind--she should be scared out of her mind that he can turn on her at any time--he did try and strangle her but she seems to be completely easy with him. Hmmm.
I can't wait to read more!
Linda
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February 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
This is a great story.
Do the blank pages and the missing computer file mean that she is now writing his/their future - COOL !!!
Do the blank pages and the missing computer file mean that she is now writing his/their future - COOL !!!
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February 14, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Mitts
Okay, and if that were me...I'd be hastily trying to rewrite history as fast as I could, lol..trying to make Laurence Martello a much happier, nicer kind of chap.
Just how is he going to survive in the 'real' world anyway? He doesn't belong..there is no 'family' for him to serve, no enemies for him to kill in order to prove himself...There is no reason for his existance...He's going to have to go back into the pages of Sara's stories...
I'm glad to see you made him a bit tougher on Sara this chapter...I thought he was going soft...Okay, I realize he can't kill her, but he was treating her almost too gently for his character...well, that's what I thought anyway...So I glad to see you kept me quiet this chapter...lol
Okay, and if that were me...I'd be hastily trying to rewrite history as fast as I could, lol..trying to make Laurence Martello a much happier, nicer kind of chap.
Just how is he going to survive in the 'real' world anyway? He doesn't belong..there is no 'family' for him to serve, no enemies for him to kill in order to prove himself...There is no reason for his existance...He's going to have to go back into the pages of Sara's stories...
I'm glad to see you made him a bit tougher on Sara this chapter...I thought he was going soft...Okay, I realize he can't kill her, but he was treating her almost too gently for his character...well, that's what I thought anyway...So I glad to see you kept me quiet this chapter...lol
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February 14, 2007 at 12:00 AM
That chapter was a bit gruesome I have to admit...*gulp*. I wonder if Sara, when she gets tired of being slapped/pushed around enough when she doesn't jump to do Martello's bidding as fast as he demands, might dig up something in her prior stories--a bit of his history that he might want to know about--and threaten to destroy the pages unless he starts treating her better? Martello has said that he doesn't care if he lives or dies, but all things want to exist, no matter who/what they are. It is an indisputable fact of Nature. Now that he's had a taste of life, he won't want to depart this new world he's in so quickly, I'm thinking.
Lara could tell him that she will reveal what she has written and give it to him and in return, he won't try to hurt her if she doesn't obey him as fast as he wants her to. He may even realize that he wants to learn about where he came from: his past, his childhood, and who knows--these things may provide a future for him in some way...a chance to determine where he goes from now on? Fulfilling of dreams? Setting goals? It's your story and yours to do with as you want--I'm just putting possible avenues/ideas to explore as the story goes on. I know it's presumptuous (not sure of the spelling) of one writer to do that to another and if I ever get the courage to write an original story of my own on AFF, you can do the same to me!
Linda
Lara could tell him that she will reveal what she has written and give it to him and in return, he won't try to hurt her if she doesn't obey him as fast as he wants her to. He may even realize that he wants to learn about where he came from: his past, his childhood, and who knows--these things may provide a future for him in some way...a chance to determine where he goes from now on? Fulfilling of dreams? Setting goals? It's your story and yours to do with as you want--I'm just putting possible avenues/ideas to explore as the story goes on. I know it's presumptuous (not sure of the spelling) of one writer to do that to another and if I ever get the courage to write an original story of my own on AFF, you can do the same to me!
Linda
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February 14, 2007 at 12:00 AM
This is one heck of an awesome story so far. I don't believe I've read much of your work previously, but I do like where this story is heading. I'm eager to see what more is to come for these two; I especially can't help but wonder about the possible connections between Sara's feeling ill and forgetting what she wrote and Laurence's feeling better and remembering. I guess I'll have to wait and see. In any case, excellent work, and I look forward to further chapters.
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February 13, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Mitts
Noooo....I can't believe how 'kind'..'gentle'..'polite' Laurence is being towards Sara...That just seems so out of character for him. I mean, he told her to change the bedcover, she didn't..no punishment! He told her to go and make breakfast,again she didn't rush to do as he told her, and again, no punishment!
Okay, that could be because he doesn't feel too good, doesn't feel 'himself'...But still...She seems to be getting off really lightly doesn't she? lol...
It's interesting to see where you'll take the story now...
Will you take your reader along Laurences point of view? Or will you have Sara still in control?
Ohhh, and another thought...What might happen if/when Christopher shows up??? Mmmmmm....
Noooo....I can't believe how 'kind'..'gentle'..'polite' Laurence is being towards Sara...That just seems so out of character for him. I mean, he told her to change the bedcover, she didn't..no punishment! He told her to go and make breakfast,again she didn't rush to do as he told her, and again, no punishment!
Okay, that could be because he doesn't feel too good, doesn't feel 'himself'...But still...She seems to be getting off really lightly doesn't she? lol...
It's interesting to see where you'll take the story now...
Will you take your reader along Laurences point of view? Or will you have Sara still in control?
Ohhh, and another thought...What might happen if/when Christopher shows up??? Mmmmmm....
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February 13, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Great story......hanging out to see what happens next !!!!!!!!!!!!!
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February 13, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I can’t even start to tell how this is such a one of a kind story. For one thing I love how Martello knows what Sara does. And him not having his markings. But I think what makes this so different from your other stories, is how…awkward…he is. Not awkward. But uncertain and unknowing. So different from what I know of your dear Martello. But then again, he is still the guy I know! You were right Kanashii, that was very brutal. AND I LOVED IT! Especially when he killed the other Chris. I find this Martello very original from the others as he is being thrust into ‘life’ and it’s new and different. I just want to know what’s going to happen now!
E.M.
E.M.
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February 12, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Mitts
Utt oh...He's getting closer, and he's getting stronger! Oh boy, am I glad I'm not in Sara's shoes right now!
Utt oh...He's getting closer, and he's getting stronger! Oh boy, am I glad I'm not in Sara's shoes right now!
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February 12, 2007 at 12:00 AM
What a great chapter! The sex was hot to say the least *growl*. Deliciously sinful reading as always!
Linda
Linda