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March 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
"no human thinks in completely proper English, unless English is their second language -- in which case they probably wouldn't be thinking in English anyway?"
- Um. I do think in English even though it is my second language and I don't live in an English speaking country. I do it all the time actually, especially whenever I am alone and not engaged in conversation or anything. I dream in English, too. BUT I highly doubt I am gramatically correct - that is the difference between native and second language, isn't it? ^.^
Oh, and since so far I haven't said anything about the story:
I love DaW and the update very definetely made my day.
And grammar? Who cares about grammar? =p
- Um. I do think in English even though it is my second language and I don't live in an English speaking country. I do it all the time actually, especially whenever I am alone and not engaged in conversation or anything. I dream in English, too. BUT I highly doubt I am gramatically correct - that is the difference between native and second language, isn't it? ^.^
Oh, and since so far I haven't said anything about the story:
I love DaW and the update very definetely made my day.
And grammar? Who cares about grammar? =p
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March 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 31
These two so need a lot of alone time!! So tragic!!
Luke and Milo could use pizza and a quiet night in!!!
It's always amazing what humans are capable of
doing to one another and more importantly,
what they are capable of surviving!!
The way you've written them, they're both
so fragile, yet, they're still "in the game," so to speak.
Being alive and in the game keeps hope alive!!!
Because I believe time and distance does give
perspective, I'm all for them running away from it all!!!
It's always interesting to see how various
authors handle that scenario!!! (I know...
wherever you go, there you are.)
Thanks,
R
These two so need a lot of alone time!! So tragic!!
Luke and Milo could use pizza and a quiet night in!!!
It's always amazing what humans are capable of
doing to one another and more importantly,
what they are capable of surviving!!
The way you've written them, they're both
so fragile, yet, they're still "in the game," so to speak.
Being alive and in the game keeps hope alive!!!
Because I believe time and distance does give
perspective, I'm all for them running away from it all!!!
It's always interesting to see how various
authors handle that scenario!!! (I know...
wherever you go, there you are.)
Thanks,
R
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March 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I see you've added quite a few updates. Very prolific of you! I could sure wish to be more like that, but anyway, I'm just glad to have this to read right now. It felt like getting a present.
chapter 37- ah, Milo. Life is rough. He's got enough guilt for at least two people, but I like that about him. Guilt is making him think, and really, going to Claire was a damn wise move, just to affirm what he already knew, but didn't trust in himself. It makes sense that some of his confidence, some of his faith in the world is shaken.
I loved Luke's textes, just so old married couple-ish. You made his character such a perfect compliment to Milo. So, does Luke forgive him easy or make him suffer alittle? Luke is strong, but how strong? After what his father did to him, even just who his father is.
Dialog, great. Milo's thoughts just panicked enough. Nothing critical I can think of. And I tried. ^o^
chapter 37- ah, Milo. Life is rough. He's got enough guilt for at least two people, but I like that about him. Guilt is making him think, and really, going to Claire was a damn wise move, just to affirm what he already knew, but didn't trust in himself. It makes sense that some of his confidence, some of his faith in the world is shaken.
I loved Luke's textes, just so old married couple-ish. You made his character such a perfect compliment to Milo. So, does Luke forgive him easy or make him suffer alittle? Luke is strong, but how strong? After what his father did to him, even just who his father is.
Dialog, great. Milo's thoughts just panicked enough. Nothing critical I can think of. And I tried. ^o^
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March 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
chapter 29-- this'll be a quick review, since I'm dying to read on, but I laughed twice, and I think it was just cuz of the relief of it. I was picturing it in my head. And I kiss him. With tongue. that in the middle of a class, oh man, that's way better than flowers. oh,and the brother part was good too, the poor shocked teacher. I like the way your mind works!
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March 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
chap 30-- you and this story deserve ever single one of those hits, and in my op, MORE comments. Where to start. Fiirst, I really liked this chapter. A whole lot. You had me gripping when I thought Luke was really getting sick or something. Descriptions, great, I could just see them in the hall, Luke a koala. ::grin:: I felt so bad for him, and now really REALLY glad Milo had kissed him like that. If he hadn't done that, Luke might not have come around so fast. And when he does finally speak, he goes right to the heart of the matter. Very Luke-like. And I'm feeling pretty good, that they're coming to some real trust and another step in the right direction... and then... YOU COME UP WITH THAT CLIFFHUNG, terrible news. Well, I actually thought it was good news, but you know what I mean. Think of your pitiful readers, the ones who actually read this whenever you posted it! Meanie!
Justkiddingreally. That is poignant. And really something Luke has to deal with, so why it shocked me, I don't know. Great, wonderful, awesome writing. That's all the conscrit you're getting. I love your story. Getting sick of hearing that yet?
Well, one point out for ya.... But he's not crying either. But I'm not sure if that is a good sign either. just a thought, might want to omit that second "either". Could be- 'not sure if that is a good sign or not.' -or something.
I typed this in about eight seconds. Because there's still one more chapter up...
Justkiddingreally. That is poignant. And really something Luke has to deal with, so why it shocked me, I don't know. Great, wonderful, awesome writing. That's all the conscrit you're getting. I love your story. Getting sick of hearing that yet?
Well, one point out for ya.... But he's not crying either. But I'm not sure if that is a good sign either. just a thought, might want to omit that second "either". Could be- 'not sure if that is a good sign or not.' -or something.
I typed this in about eight seconds. Because there's still one more chapter up...
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March 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
ch 31-- Oops. Sorry, for not reviewing for so long, but I don't have time to read as much as I wish I did. And I don't find many stories I like. There are some really good ones, and some real good authors here, but I have to pick the few whose stories I would pay to read. Which, this is one of those. I don't put down anyone's else's tastes or anything.
But, to the story. Luke is the heart, Milo is the action, but they are almost empathic at knowing when to catch each other. It's really heartwarming. It's driven home again how messed up they are. I didn't think Luke should believe he was like his father, though. He knows he isn't. Maybe you just wanted him to want Milo to tell him so?
Oh yeah, and I'm sure the kids will be 'shitty' to them. Personally, I think those who saw that kiss would secretly admire the bravery and the love it showed. Secretly, cuz most just won't rock the social boat too much, not in high school. I'm looking forward to how you write how they handle it. If you don't go into detail about it, that's fine, too. Everyone already pretty much knows.
The last two paragraphs were just so perfect. And beautifully written. And inspiring. Props.
Here ya go! I found one! It does it again. Like he always does. -- should be 'He' does it again. Like he always does.
This felt like... close to the end. Is it?
But, to the story. Luke is the heart, Milo is the action, but they are almost empathic at knowing when to catch each other. It's really heartwarming. It's driven home again how messed up they are. I didn't think Luke should believe he was like his father, though. He knows he isn't. Maybe you just wanted him to want Milo to tell him so?
Oh yeah, and I'm sure the kids will be 'shitty' to them. Personally, I think those who saw that kiss would secretly admire the bravery and the love it showed. Secretly, cuz most just won't rock the social boat too much, not in high school. I'm looking forward to how you write how they handle it. If you don't go into detail about it, that's fine, too. Everyone already pretty much knows.
The last two paragraphs were just so perfect. And beautifully written. And inspiring. Props.
Here ya go! I found one! It does it again. Like he always does. -- should be 'He' does it again. Like he always does.
This felt like... close to the end. Is it?
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March 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
i hope that the plan works out!!! i also hope that none of milo's 'friends' decide to do anything to luke!
ASOTA
ASOTA
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March 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Another wonderful chapter, as expected :). Awww, poor Luke, all this stress on such a small boy. Damn, Milo has his hands full with him lol. Great chapter, update soon please (so glad more chapters come after this, I'll definately cry at the end lol)!!!!
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March 6, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 27, first day in school. I loved this. Awful, yes of course. But any other way would have been a total lie. High school isn't a nice, forgiving, tolerant place. And Milo is just a kid in high school when he goes back there, and his former friends don't know anything about him, and those kind of guys would be very freaked about one of their own being gay - especially while in each others' company. And of course Luke would have had a shit time, going to the same school after everyone knows his father was a friggin serial killer! Jeez. Excellent chapter.
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March 6, 2008 at 12:00 AM
OMG cliffhanger!!! You better finish this, missy, or I'll haunt you!
Anyway, Milo isn't the type to "ease" people at school into him being gay and Luke being his boyfriend. All or nothing. The whole gay issue might actually be overshadowed by the Luke Horendu issue. If I was Luke, I'd change my name, even if people knew who he was. Neither his mom or dad are people you want to inherit something from... How the heck are they gonna survive high school when they can't be together all the time to look after each other?? Even if some of the people they (Milo) know turn out to be good guys, all the people that don't know them are going talk, and write shit on their lockers, etc etc... It's just the way it is. Oh hurry up and write more, pleasssse?
Anyway, Milo isn't the type to "ease" people at school into him being gay and Luke being his boyfriend. All or nothing. The whole gay issue might actually be overshadowed by the Luke Horendu issue. If I was Luke, I'd change my name, even if people knew who he was. Neither his mom or dad are people you want to inherit something from... How the heck are they gonna survive high school when they can't be together all the time to look after each other?? Even if some of the people they (Milo) know turn out to be good guys, all the people that don't know them are going talk, and write shit on their lockers, etc etc... It's just the way it is. Oh hurry up and write more, pleasssse?