rate_review Reviews

...again.

ch 1-Geez. You put a lot of information (as is needed) in a few short paragraphs without making it seem rushed. Great job on that. Making me wonder, why the hell that kid went to that trial, sat and listened to sickening details of serial killing DONE BY HIS OWN FATHER, when none of the rest of his family did. (having snuck and read the last chapter first I sort of have a clue)

Damn, that is fucked up. I can't blame Milo for his reaction, and Luke, wow, from the first sentences you've got how scrwed up he is right on the mark. If I was Milo I'd be freaked more by the kid being aroused under the circumstances, thinking he's sick like his father. But yeah, guilt and benefit of the doubt might override it that first time. I don't have an opinion on Luke yet. But Milo-- seems very realistic if overreactive. Some people just are.

Do you really see this as a cliche plot? If so, hallowed be them. You rock at this, no kidding. At writing. But you know that? You should.

ch2- not everyone thinks to add details like new stairs don't make any noise, just so you know. And realistic dialog (outloud or in someone's head) is even more difficult, without making them kid cliches, or parent cliches, or kids talking like parents or...::cuts self off from rambling TOO much:: you know what I mean.

He's writing on the futon- should that be writhing?

Milo's calmness at Luke's behavior. Is this a clue at how badly traumatized he really is? (Milo I mean) This is in no way cliche, I know I never read anything like it, or even the idea of it. You went beyond the boundaries of cliche with this plot. And...you do it so well...

ch 3- lope around the house- mope around the house? These two like each other, that's obvious, although not for really very healthy reasons. I can totally understand them. (guess that means I'm screwed up. OO ) Great chapter. So sad.

ch 4- What happened to Luke? It's heartbreaking that he still tries to do anything, (like schoolwork) or has any backbone at all.

"You go to my school?" How the fuck did I know know this? I mean, it's a big school and all, but...-- should be 'how the fuck did I not know this?

I swear he's just got a gene to him that makes him invisible to practically everyone.-- I love that line! Can I borrow it? ::grin::

When we get to the hospital, the lady drops us at the emergency entrance and says she can't stay. What a bitch. -- should that be 'whatever?' Milo's not been judgemental, or cliched in his thinking. So why then?

Milo's crushing... he likes to be needed, whether he admits it to himself or not... So great how you can create this depth with words, but without actually saying it. A gift you have. I hope you don't mind if I point some of these things out. If you do, let me know, email is IsnowbIindI@aol.com - and I'll stop! Anyway, I'll hopefully get a chance to read the rest tonight. And I absolutely love your story so far!

i LOVE this story. i started reading it today, and i couldn't stop!! PLEAAAASE keep it up. it's amazing! and i think i actually started to cry at a few points >.<

Amazing. No need to rush things, the story is quite strong. It was a cute joke!

I want them to have sex, but I don't want them to have random and out-of-place sex. D= The pace you're going at seems perfect to me. I'm glad Milo reacted the way he did. It was the way I wanted him to. ^_^ The chapter was a little short for me, but you update quickly! So yay. More soon!

I love this so far! Your characterization really is top-notch, and every chapter's got me hooked on what's gonna happen next. I read all fourteen chapters in a bit of a rush, and I really hope you keep updating this story!

OMG talk about heartbreaking. It is a wonder he can ever have an erection again. I would beat myself after every erection if I were him as well, now it all makes sense. Wow. Ok I can't wait until he can find satifaction and the lovely part about sex now that he doesn't have to worry about his dad going on a rampage now

Luke! Everything is SO not ur fault!!! Your father's just sick fucker and a damn crazy fool!!!!
As if u can 'cure' a fag like that! That is so fucked up man! >__<
I wish he was dead (is Dad I mean!)... Luke really needs to see that it's NOT his fault at all!
And I hope that Milo will understand that! Well, I so think he will ^^

Thanks for the update!! And I can't wait for more! *hugs*

Nooo...CLIFFHANGER!!! Ahh you SO better post again SOON~~~ PREASE!
I fcking LOVE this story!