rate_review Reviews

Awesome chapter! I can't wait to see how Jackie's husband is going to act now especially since they both agreed to start over...I can't wait until the next chapter!!

wow..what a turn!

We'll see!

Ok. So, for being your first story the plot line is amazing. You had me hooked from the summary and I'm gonna start the 2nd chapter after this review. I hope you will check out some of my work. I'm a undergraduate writing arts major at Penn State University so I hope you don't mind if i state my view.

I think stories like this need more visual images so that at times you can really put your self in the abused and sometimes (if you like that sort of thing lol) the abusers shoes. Now, I myself even need to work on giving the reader more of a visual. For example when you were explaining the main characters wedding dress I really pictured it in my mind. That was great. So maybe focus on giving more visuals like that? I know it may or may not be hard to look through the eyes of an abused person but since this is your character you should look through her eyes like they're your own.
I also subsribe to a writing mag and it says to may sure that you're actually telling a story and not just providing a "slice of the characters life". So I can't wait to see what story you're trying to tell me through the characters eyes.

How old is Harry? I don't know if you mentioned.
I think this story has more of a "me" protagonist than an "I" protagonist. Most writers today feel the need to leave their character victimized and things always happening to "me". I think the most interesting and the stories that the world lack are the main characters that take action and do stuff about their situation ("I" protagonists)
I hope Jacky isn't one of those girls that just cry and cry about the man abusing them because I could just watch lifetime instead.
Still love the plot though. Wish the chapters were longer. Good Work.

I love this story thanks for updating! I have to say I'm more parcial to Mark then Harry.....

Thanks for the update! I am looking forward to more. So how long is Harry going to be nice to her??

whoa this is an interesting twist....if the police are involved does that Mark might be caught...with Harry out of the pic and Mark possibly out of the picture, I seriously don't know who she will end up with?? Maybe just herself without any man, raising her lovely daughter. Though a part of me wouldn't mind seeing Mark change to be with her....I guess we will just have to wait and see.
Lovely chapter!!

Awesome story. I wonder if you threw in the affair with Harry as foreshadowing that she might not end up with Harry. I mean if she finds out that he cheated on her, then she will see him as no better than Mark. And somehow I don't think Mark will let her go. It will be interesting to see if Mark will change to keep his marriage with her.
You are a fantastic writer.

hi there just came across your story and just wanna drop by and tell ya that i love it!!! :) anyway, i hope you will give us more on the reason behind why mark act the way he does. and even though he is a bastard i still can't help but hope that he will end up with jaqui. anywayz hope you update soon.