AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Noticed

by Tirch

person Ashlynn
schedule April 3, 2007 at 12:00 AM
hi, just wondering, u gonna continue this story? it is a pretty nice one, sad to see it not finish.
schedule March 5, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hey! Long time, no see! I'm so excited to see you writing again! I'm so sorry that I never got to e-mail you back -- a medical emergency popped up around that time X-x Not cool at all. But this story is really good :D! Keep it up!
person 7years
schedule January 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hey Tirch! In chapter 4 I really like what you did for this chapter by integrating the description of the scene into the characters thought. For example, "Patch was sitting on Nina's bed, watching the way the light from the setting sun came in streaks through the window of the dorm room and fell on Kirsten’s cheek". Aw Tirch, you just made me realize how shitty it is for a guy when a girl he has feelings for keep saying how such a great guy and friend he is. I wonder what will happen at Kristen and Derek's date. Thanks for updating.



person MamaT
schedule January 1, 2007 at 12:00 AM
LoveitLoveitLoveit so far! can't wait to see what'll happen next :)
person Shanna
schedule December 27, 2006 at 12:00 AM
MERRY CHRISTMASKKUH! I know it is the Holiday Season, and everyone is busy, but PLEASE UPDATE SOON.
person Anon
schedule December 25, 2006 at 12:00 AM
is derek gonna change? i mean i dont like him very much at the moment. i think he is a jerk. i hope he is gonna change his attitude over the story. but overall, i still like this story. as a matter of fact, i love all of your stories.
person Adaee
schedule December 16, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Review of the first three chapters below!

You're doing an EXCELLENT job of making me hate Derek, similar to what you did with Joey. Although I must admit, I'm a lot more upset with Derek than I ever was with Joey... but that may be a testament to the strength of your writing more so than the characters themselves.

You seem to capture a lot about Nina that reminds me of Eve... allowing looks into her life that her character wouldn't normally be discussing... I just hope that you don't wretch Nina away too. :-)

The end of the third chapter was particuarly fitting to me, as I'm glad to see that you're showing the depth of the relationships being developed in that they are trying to help out instead of just ignoring a problem. Keep up the good work. In the mean time, I'll try not to get attached to your characters so quickly. :-D
person tata12772
schedule December 13, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Im truly loving the way this is coming along. keep up the good work. cant wait to read the next chapter
person pikacheese
schedule December 11, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Obviously the focus in this story is a little different, but right now certain characters in this story remind me of characters in Like A Dream Come True / Original Sin.

Derek seems to me like Zip, the overconfident lady-killer who knows (or thinks he knows) that he can always get what he wants. Patch seems a bit like Eddie, the more reserved friend with a huge crush who can't get away from his "nice guy" label.

Of course, this time the object of the guys' affection isn't a wild child like Sin, but it's just a little observation I had. I'm very interested to see where this one is going.
person nesl247
schedule December 11, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Great chapter. I really like the fact that it's building up friction between friends so soon. I hope to read a new chapter this week.... hint hint..