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for Melt

by kajardine

person Jd Wheels
schedule November 21, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Good, erotic as hell... but I find it too wordy. I suggest not to write like you have swallowed a dictionary, and find more mainstream ways of depicting it all.

This is not intended to be a flame, but a gentle push to remember that most people dont get into such fanciful writing... and using more subtle words is the artistic way to write. It's not big words, but using everyday language to spin a perfect depiction of the story onto the movie screen of the mind.

Erotic writing is not some english class assignment, it is meant to connect visually with the readers mind. Think about it, kind sir/madam.

Jd Wheels
person ree
schedule November 14, 2006 at 12:00 AM
so far, i have to say that it is quite interesting and that i love how you wrote it.

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