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April 8, 2007 at 12:00 AM
ARGH IT'S SO CLOSE I CAN ALMOST TASTE IT!!!!!!! PLLLLLEEEEEAAAAASSSSSEEEEE UPDATE SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT SOME URI/SHAWN ACTION!!!!!! ALTHOUGH I WILL SAY THE RANE KISS WAS VERY HOT!!!!! MORE SOON PLEASE!!!!!!!!
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April 8, 2007 at 12:00 AM
^_^ ZOMG FLUFF!!! *dances around* must draw pictures of fluff!!! AWWW! Thank you for the update! You write so aweaomely, the style and sense of tense awkwardness between Uri and Shawn is beautiful it the build up. (*gasp i'm not being a spaz*) Please update soon!
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April 6, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I love this story. It is so funny. I wonder who is this "girl" that Shawn keeps talking about. Keep up the great writing.
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April 3, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I love this story to death. This one of the first original slash fanfiction's I have read and have become completely addicted to it. I love the way you portray your characters. The anguish Uri goes through is touching. Shawn seems to be extremely HOT! And I just love Rane!
Finally the plot thickens and I can see the two brothers coming to point in the story when one of them will have to budge. In my opinion I think Uri should amke the first move. But either way I am twitching to read more. PLEASE UPDATE SOON!
And if isn't too much trouble, could you please send me an e-mail when you update at: justice02908@yahoo.com
Your fan,
~rAiNwAtEr~
Finally the plot thickens and I can see the two brothers coming to point in the story when one of them will have to budge. In my opinion I think Uri should amke the first move. But either way I am twitching to read more. PLEASE UPDATE SOON!
And if isn't too much trouble, could you please send me an e-mail when you update at: justice02908@yahoo.com
Your fan,
~rAiNwAtEr~
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April 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
CHAPTER 20
Congratulations on 500 reviews, teeta! This is really something! You almost need to post two chapters at a time: one-a story update, another-answers to reviews, hehe. I can't quite think of a story which averages 25 reviews per chapter:) The fact that all reviews are answered is impressive also, many people just post: 'thank you, guys'. Good job, teeta *hugs*
Now onto review:
Last few chapters were packed with action, Uri got kissed by two people!!! And asked to be a boyfriend-sort of, and Shawn has decided to take a proactive approach. That was pretty intense and most of events came as surprize.
Reading 'Haywire' made me a bit paranoid, though, and I began to think that Rane is an evil mastermind as well. He couldn't be like Reign, could he? What if everything he said to Uri is a lie? Maybe there is a reason why Kyle is affraid of him. I would really like to think that Uri is so irresistable that everybody is in love with him. But it doesn't seem to be so. He is being used as a pawn in other people's games, isn't he?
So far the only genuine love towards Uri comes from Shawn.
His friends won't abandon him, I hope. But right now Uri is on his own at the school with the exeption of Rane ( a jock, with whom Uri spoken for the first time less than a week ago). Looks like a recipie for a disaster.
P.S. Now I know why Uri has a problem with Math, he is daydreaming about kisses, hehe. Bad Uri:)
Congratulations on 500 reviews, teeta! This is really something! You almost need to post two chapters at a time: one-a story update, another-answers to reviews, hehe. I can't quite think of a story which averages 25 reviews per chapter:) The fact that all reviews are answered is impressive also, many people just post: 'thank you, guys'. Good job, teeta *hugs*
Now onto review:
Last few chapters were packed with action, Uri got kissed by two people!!! And asked to be a boyfriend-sort of, and Shawn has decided to take a proactive approach. That was pretty intense and most of events came as surprize.
Reading 'Haywire' made me a bit paranoid, though, and I began to think that Rane is an evil mastermind as well. He couldn't be like Reign, could he? What if everything he said to Uri is a lie? Maybe there is a reason why Kyle is affraid of him. I would really like to think that Uri is so irresistable that everybody is in love with him. But it doesn't seem to be so. He is being used as a pawn in other people's games, isn't he?
So far the only genuine love towards Uri comes from Shawn.
His friends won't abandon him, I hope. But right now Uri is on his own at the school with the exeption of Rane ( a jock, with whom Uri spoken for the first time less than a week ago). Looks like a recipie for a disaster.
P.S. Now I know why Uri has a problem with Math, he is daydreaming about kisses, hehe. Bad Uri:)
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April 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hmm... I don't normally do this, but I need to offer you some advice. PLEASE in the future of your writing, get to some symblance of a plot within your story before chapter 19!!! I chose not to review this until this chapter in hopes that it would get better, but sadly I was wrong. Now, I am not one of those people who "flame" stories, but this one is in needs of some serious editing of redundancy.
Asyen
Asyen
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April 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
"Nighty, my dearest little brother. Sweetest dreams"
This line made my day, dearest teeta.
and to make you understand my situation:
I´m lying on the couch in my mums living room, withering in pain, just release from the hospital 24 hours ago with an awfull stomach ache and my back hurting....
but that line is soooooo cool (don´t know if the painkillers make me say that....but judging from the fact that my mum had only painkillers for toddlers left I think they might not have a big effect).....
that behaviour right after uris "advice" is just so obvious.....uri must be blind for heaven´s sake.....
but shawns behaviour also makes me think....
for he somehow makes a move on uri and given the fact that uri thinks their´re brothers shawn should know that it´s useless.....so either uri was talking aloud before and shawn kind of guesses something (but then hemight approach him differently) or maybe uri was told as a little kid and forgot about it.....but that´s quite unlikely either....so you lost me here.....
then we have to think of Rane of a factor too....
is there really a past between Rane and Shawn......
Dan did not surprise me though, for I think his behaviour is not homophobe at all.....that´s just what zou want us to believe.....he´s just hurt from the fact that uri didn´t tell him....didn´t trust him.......and was not able to express it in his state of shock.....so I think he´ll come around......
I´m getting a little bit suspicious about rane....he´s an intelligent person and might be right with his tatic of making the rumors true, but somehow I think he´s always surprising uri.....maybe he thinks uri wouldn´t want to play along or wouldn´t be able to, because he´s just to honest and couldn´t act it out.....but all those sudden kisses in the hallway put uri in a place he clearly doesn´t want to be and up to now rane always tried to make feel uri comfortable......so does rane have a plan.......and in how far is shawn involved......
next point: the attidude of uris mother.....do they know about shawn´s sexuality? I thought so during their visit at their grandparent´s, but then I also thought that they would know about shawns interest for uri and that would be clearly impossible.....so???????
but her relax reaction to shawns remark about the "boyfriend" makes me think she dealt with that before......
and somehow I used the word "think" a lot today.....so lets not say it´s thinking, but "painkiller-induced-illusions"....that kinda saves me if I said too much stuff that does not apply.......
and a country that borders onto mine???????
I did say I´m german.....didn´t I?
or did I mention that I live in england now????
can´t remeber......
but the former would mean that english is your second language and that again would mean that I´d have to rape you and slit your throath open to drain you off your creativity and bath myself in the genius that you are....
ha....sorry for expressing my awe in such words, but I guess since pain currently dominates my brain I´m only able to transmit my feelings in sadistic ways.....
and no chocolate cake or tuna-sweetcorn-pasta........even writing that makes me sick....I can´t share my painkillers either for there are hardly any left and what is left I need......
and you´re the queen of cliffies......putting them in a point where they seem so crucial and you think everything is about to change in a drastic way and then you still manage to proceed in the path set for the story and the usual speed without rushing into things....
love that....
did you read "stupid post it notes" BY Dirty-Angel-Toes on fictionpress.com??????
This line made my day, dearest teeta.
and to make you understand my situation:
I´m lying on the couch in my mums living room, withering in pain, just release from the hospital 24 hours ago with an awfull stomach ache and my back hurting....
but that line is soooooo cool (don´t know if the painkillers make me say that....but judging from the fact that my mum had only painkillers for toddlers left I think they might not have a big effect).....
that behaviour right after uris "advice" is just so obvious.....uri must be blind for heaven´s sake.....
but shawns behaviour also makes me think....
for he somehow makes a move on uri and given the fact that uri thinks their´re brothers shawn should know that it´s useless.....so either uri was talking aloud before and shawn kind of guesses something (but then hemight approach him differently) or maybe uri was told as a little kid and forgot about it.....but that´s quite unlikely either....so you lost me here.....
then we have to think of Rane of a factor too....
is there really a past between Rane and Shawn......
Dan did not surprise me though, for I think his behaviour is not homophobe at all.....that´s just what zou want us to believe.....he´s just hurt from the fact that uri didn´t tell him....didn´t trust him.......and was not able to express it in his state of shock.....so I think he´ll come around......
I´m getting a little bit suspicious about rane....he´s an intelligent person and might be right with his tatic of making the rumors true, but somehow I think he´s always surprising uri.....maybe he thinks uri wouldn´t want to play along or wouldn´t be able to, because he´s just to honest and couldn´t act it out.....but all those sudden kisses in the hallway put uri in a place he clearly doesn´t want to be and up to now rane always tried to make feel uri comfortable......so does rane have a plan.......and in how far is shawn involved......
next point: the attidude of uris mother.....do they know about shawn´s sexuality? I thought so during their visit at their grandparent´s, but then I also thought that they would know about shawns interest for uri and that would be clearly impossible.....so???????
but her relax reaction to shawns remark about the "boyfriend" makes me think she dealt with that before......
and somehow I used the word "think" a lot today.....so lets not say it´s thinking, but "painkiller-induced-illusions"....that kinda saves me if I said too much stuff that does not apply.......
and a country that borders onto mine???????
I did say I´m german.....didn´t I?
or did I mention that I live in england now????
can´t remeber......
but the former would mean that english is your second language and that again would mean that I´d have to rape you and slit your throath open to drain you off your creativity and bath myself in the genius that you are....
ha....sorry for expressing my awe in such words, but I guess since pain currently dominates my brain I´m only able to transmit my feelings in sadistic ways.....
and no chocolate cake or tuna-sweetcorn-pasta........even writing that makes me sick....I can´t share my painkillers either for there are hardly any left and what is left I need......
and you´re the queen of cliffies......putting them in a point where they seem so crucial and you think everything is about to change in a drastic way and then you still manage to proceed in the path set for the story and the usual speed without rushing into things....
love that....
did you read "stupid post it notes" BY Dirty-Angel-Toes on fictionpress.com??????
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April 1, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Dear Teeta!
When I read your story I have a weard feeling in my tummy. You that nice oh-my-god-i'm-in-love type of feeling. And I was right Shawn was furious, and actually made the first step, with the help of his beloved! And the part when you wrote:
"“Nighty, my dearest little brother. Sweetest dreams,” I hear Shawn’s voice on the verge of falling asleep, long after we finished our conversation."
Was absolutely wonderfull. But I really like Shawn and I'm really looking forward for the next chapter. I always tell my roommate about your story, and she loves it, and is always excited about the updates as I am. Sadly she doesn't speak english, so I translate your work for her.(Well, I'm from Hungary, and that is why I just can't make a proper translation of my works into english. *sigh's*)
Anyway, we both send you and your muse a great hug! Hope your muse will grant you a kiss soon. Untile then Happy Easter!
( /)
( . .)
c('')('')
When I read your story I have a weard feeling in my tummy. You that nice oh-my-god-i'm-in-love type of feeling. And I was right Shawn was furious, and actually made the first step, with the help of his beloved! And the part when you wrote:
"“Nighty, my dearest little brother. Sweetest dreams,” I hear Shawn’s voice on the verge of falling asleep, long after we finished our conversation."
Was absolutely wonderfull. But I really like Shawn and I'm really looking forward for the next chapter. I always tell my roommate about your story, and she loves it, and is always excited about the updates as I am. Sadly she doesn't speak english, so I translate your work for her.(Well, I'm from Hungary, and that is why I just can't make a proper translation of my works into english. *sigh's*)
Anyway, we both send you and your muse a great hug! Hope your muse will grant you a kiss soon. Untile then Happy Easter!
( /)
( . .)
c('')('')
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April 1, 2007 at 12:00 AM
^_^ This chapter made me happy. Shawn was jealous! But I'm glad there was finally a longer scene with him and Uri. Oh, and the story Haywire is going really well. I loved the whole 'mermaid' thing. XD(I'd review it but my computer's been dying lately; it wouldn't let me log in anywhere until today.(( I had about 78 unread emails on yahoo....))Technology hates me. -_-) BUT PLEASE KEEP UPDATING THIS STORY! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!^_^
Dee
Dee
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April 1, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I want 500~!!!!!!
Awesome chapter...
I feel Shawn's jealousy.
I think Rane should like Uri..
I think Uri should GET THE HINT!
Five hundred baby.
Awesome chapter...
I feel Shawn's jealousy.
I think Rane should like Uri..
I think Uri should GET THE HINT!
Five hundred baby.