schedule
January 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
CHAPTER 15
A clairvoyant? Nah! The inner eye is such a burden, hehe. To prove the point, I didn't realize that Uri's first near-sexual experience happened on the night before Sunday Church Service. Not even sunday clothes clued me in. That's what I get for not being religious:)
No wonder that the boy is so remorseful. Teen angst, yeah.
I like a way you work clues into the story line, very good job. It is done in such subtle way, very enjoyable.
Overall, this story is plotted out really well and written wonderfully:D
Congrats on all the reviews! See how many people love it. Good job.
I am really anxious right now to find out what is going to happen next.
A clairvoyant? Nah! The inner eye is such a burden, hehe. To prove the point, I didn't realize that Uri's first near-sexual experience happened on the night before Sunday Church Service. Not even sunday clothes clued me in. That's what I get for not being religious:)
No wonder that the boy is so remorseful. Teen angst, yeah.
I like a way you work clues into the story line, very good job. It is done in such subtle way, very enjoyable.
Overall, this story is plotted out really well and written wonderfully:D
Congrats on all the reviews! See how many people love it. Good job.
I am really anxious right now to find out what is going to happen next.
schedule
January 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hi Teeta!
Such a tense chapter!!!! Wow! I feel so sorry for poor Uri. The guil is just eating at him. He now believes everything that is happening around him is his fault. And I can understand that, for it is a big thing to realize you have feelings for someone of the same sex but much worse to realise these feelings are directed at a member of your family. He shouldn`t think that Shawn hates him for what happened the other night. Even if he doesn`t guess Shawn`s real feelings, why does he think the worst? Maybe his brother is just ashamed of the situation, not disgusted with uri. I guess Uri really is clueless as to what is actually going on. I think the reason why Shawn is avoiding him and being silent and distant is because he doesn`t trust himself to act normally in front of Uri or perhaps even control himself... not after that passionate night.
I liked the part about the angels. It made his struggle and guilt so much more obvious and profound.
I can only hope he will pass over this wretched feelings and come to terms with his feelings and cnfess to his brother or get a confession from his brother, whichever is fine XD
Such a intricate and soul searching chapter! I want more! *waits patiently for the next update*
Such a tense chapter!!!! Wow! I feel so sorry for poor Uri. The guil is just eating at him. He now believes everything that is happening around him is his fault. And I can understand that, for it is a big thing to realize you have feelings for someone of the same sex but much worse to realise these feelings are directed at a member of your family. He shouldn`t think that Shawn hates him for what happened the other night. Even if he doesn`t guess Shawn`s real feelings, why does he think the worst? Maybe his brother is just ashamed of the situation, not disgusted with uri. I guess Uri really is clueless as to what is actually going on. I think the reason why Shawn is avoiding him and being silent and distant is because he doesn`t trust himself to act normally in front of Uri or perhaps even control himself... not after that passionate night.
I liked the part about the angels. It made his struggle and guilt so much more obvious and profound.
I can only hope he will pass over this wretched feelings and come to terms with his feelings and cnfess to his brother or get a confession from his brother, whichever is fine XD
Such a intricate and soul searching chapter! I want more! *waits patiently for the next update*
schedule
January 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I have to say that out of all the chapters, this one was my least favorite. It was still a wonderful chapter, however Uri's emoness is starting to bug me. I understand what he is going through, but does he have to be so gosh darn hard on himself? I feel bad that he doesn't really have anyone he can talk to about his problem..but then again I don't know if I would even talk to a trusted, best friend about a situation like his. *sigh*
I do understand that writing chapter 14 had you a little exhausted, and please don't feel badly. ^^; Just telling you what I think. (And no, I don't want sex. I just want poor Uri to feel a little better about himself. :P)
I do understand that writing chapter 14 had you a little exhausted, and please don't feel badly. ^^; Just telling you what I think. (And no, I don't want sex. I just want poor Uri to feel a little better about himself. :P)
schedule
January 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I read this with a thought, and Of course Uri is confused! He and Shawn, they have had very close relationship always; siblings that are like friends, maybe even best friends; like I feel that they have been.
I got to thinking about my relationship with my sister, she's so very close to me, one of my best friends, though she can annoy the shit out of me if she wants to, but that's just normal ^_^ She knows me true and true as I know her, there's nothing we could not tell each others. Anyway, having had that close connection and then if you would loose it because of something new or something difficult coming in between that relationship; well then darn. Hell yeah it would get you all confused, ripped apart, maybe even sick in the stomach like Uri has it here. And not only that, but throw all the religion stuff in the soup as well, then...
Well religion, especially as strong as Catholic fate is (and quite narrow sighted; just my Lutheran opinion, sorry) can really be a pain in the arse, meaning I think it does have people in such a strong hold. So, Uri's thoughts make sense to me.
All in all, this was a good chapter, I think so, I hope I made some sense in here, I-, I tried ^_^
I'll wait for your update and I hope they both can soon escape from those tormenting thoughts that seem to tell them that what they feel is wrong. -It's not.
I know that there's some awesome chapters to look forward to
Love:
C
I got to thinking about my relationship with my sister, she's so very close to me, one of my best friends, though she can annoy the shit out of me if she wants to, but that's just normal ^_^ She knows me true and true as I know her, there's nothing we could not tell each others. Anyway, having had that close connection and then if you would loose it because of something new or something difficult coming in between that relationship; well then darn. Hell yeah it would get you all confused, ripped apart, maybe even sick in the stomach like Uri has it here. And not only that, but throw all the religion stuff in the soup as well, then...
Well religion, especially as strong as Catholic fate is (and quite narrow sighted; just my Lutheran opinion, sorry) can really be a pain in the arse, meaning I think it does have people in such a strong hold. So, Uri's thoughts make sense to me.
All in all, this was a good chapter, I think so, I hope I made some sense in here, I-, I tried ^_^
I'll wait for your update and I hope they both can soon escape from those tormenting thoughts that seem to tell them that what they feel is wrong. -It's not.
I know that there's some awesome chapters to look forward to
Love:
C
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January 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
"glistening on his tanned-like skin."=hot
avoid shawn ? no!!!!
ooo shawn is big? thats hot
the feelings that uri are having are so detailed. wubs it.
i hate when uri cries. i wish i could hold him. or shawn would come hold him.
love the feelings behind this chapter.
can't wait for chapter 16.
avoid shawn ? no!!!!
ooo shawn is big? thats hot
the feelings that uri are having are so detailed. wubs it.
i hate when uri cries. i wish i could hold him. or shawn would come hold him.
love the feelings behind this chapter.
can't wait for chapter 16.
schedule
January 24, 2007 at 12:00 AM
i love your story it's really fun reading it... Keep up the good work... I can hardly wait for the next chapter :)
schedule
January 24, 2007 at 12:00 AM
wow, that was a very dramatic and riveting chapter... i'm concerned for uri's mind at this point, it seems as though he is unraveling. i just hope he doesn't end up resorting to something drastic before he finds out whatever truth there is about shawn's feelings for him and "the family secret". :) powerful writing!! i've been a faithful reader and feel bad i haven't reviewed regularly. you're incredibly talented and i love your story.
schedule
January 24, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I love your story. I mean, you write so long chapters (long chapters = <3), so frequently, and you still manage to get people sit on the edge of their chair, waiting (im)patiently for the next chapters. And you've written all the feelings so damn well, it's like the reader can think about their own thoughts (about incest etc. What Uri is thinking about, I mean) while reading. Aaaaand points to you for not making them go to bed after two chapters, as it makes the story feel so much more intense and interesting and mesmerizing and insert-positive-words-here. :)
Though I have to ask, as many other have asked, that whether or not Shawn and Uri are really related by blood? Call me a freak or something, but somehow, in my humble opinion, the story would lose quite a lot of the.. whats-the-word, meaning? Interest? if in the end it'd be revealed that they actually aren't brothers.. Not that I'd stop reading ('cause you write so damn well and I'm hooked), but y'know.. just that it'd lose some of the whole story's meaning. :S
Anyway! I love this story, and thus I love you, so mucho love to you <3 :)
Though I have to ask, as many other have asked, that whether or not Shawn and Uri are really related by blood? Call me a freak or something, but somehow, in my humble opinion, the story would lose quite a lot of the.. whats-the-word, meaning? Interest? if in the end it'd be revealed that they actually aren't brothers.. Not that I'd stop reading ('cause you write so damn well and I'm hooked), but y'know.. just that it'd lose some of the whole story's meaning. :S
Anyway! I love this story, and thus I love you, so mucho love to you <3 :)
schedule
January 24, 2007 at 12:00 AM
(Oops, AFF.net seems to hate the hearts, so I'll have to write another comment.. Sorry. :B)
I love your story. I mean, you write so long chapters (long chapters = love), so frequently, and you still manage to get people sit on the edge of their chair, waiting (im)patiently for the next chapters. And you've written all the feelings so damn well, it's like the reader can think about their own thoughts (about incest etc. What Uri is thinking about, I mean) while reading. Aaaaand points to you for not making them go to bed after two chapters, as it makes the story feel so much more intense and interesting and mesmerizing and insert-positive-words-here. :)
Though I have to ask, as many other have asked, that whether or not Shawn and Uri are really related by blood? Call me a freak or something, but somehow, in my humble opinion, the story would lose quite a lot of the.. whats-the-word, meaning? Interest? if in the end it'd be revealed that they actually aren't brothers.. Not that I'd stop reading ('cause you write so damn well and I'm hooked), but y'know.. just that it'd lose some of the whole story's meaning. :S
Anyway! I love this story, and thus I love you, so mucho love to you :)
I love your story. I mean, you write so long chapters (long chapters = love), so frequently, and you still manage to get people sit on the edge of their chair, waiting (im)patiently for the next chapters. And you've written all the feelings so damn well, it's like the reader can think about their own thoughts (about incest etc. What Uri is thinking about, I mean) while reading. Aaaaand points to you for not making them go to bed after two chapters, as it makes the story feel so much more intense and interesting and mesmerizing and insert-positive-words-here. :)
Though I have to ask, as many other have asked, that whether or not Shawn and Uri are really related by blood? Call me a freak or something, but somehow, in my humble opinion, the story would lose quite a lot of the.. whats-the-word, meaning? Interest? if in the end it'd be revealed that they actually aren't brothers.. Not that I'd stop reading ('cause you write so damn well and I'm hooked), but y'know.. just that it'd lose some of the whole story's meaning. :S
Anyway! I love this story, and thus I love you, so mucho love to you :)
schedule
January 24, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hello,
I really like your story (as I wrote some times ago) but this chapter was... not one of my favourites. I became used to the facts that Uri isn't straight forward with his feelings, that he likes to brood instead of talking and that he is in an utter state of denial and wants to bury his feelings for Shawn. Add some denseness (okay, that's normal for all boys :D) and we get his reactions the last past 14 chapters. And it was fun to read (though I would have no problems going with the King... "A little less conversation, a little more action please..." ;D) but chapter 15 is so full of self loathing one would think Uri is a mental flagellant. For me it looks like he is only one step ahead from suicide thoughts. And even with his (perhaps understandable) confusion and disgust about his incestous (though I get the feeling there is a little family secret about Shawn and/or Uri) thoughts there should be some brain left, telling him the facts: His brother humped HIM in his SLEEP. Holy *beep*, hormonal teenagers sleeping in a double bed - something like this could happen even without any attraction when awake...
No offense but for my taste and in my opinion you overdid the angst and Uri's feeling a little bit in this chapter.
Anyway, I await anxiously the next chapter
Nathaniel
I really like your story (as I wrote some times ago) but this chapter was... not one of my favourites. I became used to the facts that Uri isn't straight forward with his feelings, that he likes to brood instead of talking and that he is in an utter state of denial and wants to bury his feelings for Shawn. Add some denseness (okay, that's normal for all boys :D) and we get his reactions the last past 14 chapters. And it was fun to read (though I would have no problems going with the King... "A little less conversation, a little more action please..." ;D) but chapter 15 is so full of self loathing one would think Uri is a mental flagellant. For me it looks like he is only one step ahead from suicide thoughts. And even with his (perhaps understandable) confusion and disgust about his incestous (though I get the feeling there is a little family secret about Shawn and/or Uri) thoughts there should be some brain left, telling him the facts: His brother humped HIM in his SLEEP. Holy *beep*, hormonal teenagers sleeping in a double bed - something like this could happen even without any attraction when awake...
No offense but for my taste and in my opinion you overdid the angst and Uri's feeling a little bit in this chapter.
Anyway, I await anxiously the next chapter
Nathaniel