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November 21, 2007 at 12:00 AM
This is so good for a futuristic one.
Have been waiting for the next one. Please continue, especially on their future together. Probably a little experience together, followed by an ex-lover problem. Will it become a romance or just a one time thing...?
Have been waiting for the next one. Please continue, especially on their future together. Probably a little experience together, followed by an ex-lover problem. Will it become a romance or just a one time thing...?
schedule
April 11, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Great concept, prose, and characters! I enjoyed the realistic interactions between the characters the most. I hope you write more on this!
schedule
February 9, 2007 at 12:00 AM
How do I say this... Hmmm... Oh yeah! --> WOW!!! My only dissapointment is the fact it isn't finished. I like how you bled in a sort of Orwell/Bradbury paranoia while simaltaneously maintaining the sexual tension. It's nothing short of brilliant! The story begs to be turned into something bigger. Perhaps they have twins? (Which I'm surmising would be highly unusual for your setting) Or, maybe instead you can slip in a murder! Of course it's all up to you, being the author, but I can't wait to read more!
Great Work!
Sincerely,
BSM
Great Work!
Sincerely,
BSM
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November 28, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Enthu, why have you stopped?
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November 25, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Great storyline, Enthu. Looking forward for more to sink teeth into... :)
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November 10, 2006 at 12:00 AM
^_^" Didn't realize you had added more chapters.
I mus say, that you're doing a wonderful job and that I really do enjoy this story. The Program seems a bit scary to me, but I really like it. I can't wait for more!
yoblossom
I mus say, that you're doing a wonderful job and that I really do enjoy this story. The Program seems a bit scary to me, but I really like it. I can't wait for more!
yoblossom
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November 5, 2006 at 12:00 AM
^_^ Can't wait for more... I so want to see how they're going to "talk" about what they're supposed to do.
Keep up the good work!
yoblossom
Keep up the good work!
yoblossom
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November 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
You know... I'm reading this and I keep thinking of George Orwell's "1984." It's very creepy. The ideas are somewhat similar. This is a great story and I hope I'll be able to read more. The one line from chapter three I think, "like when a child picks apart a butterfly, just to see what’s inside…" stuck with me.
I really liked that similie. Keep up the good work.
yoblossom
I really liked that similie. Keep up the good work.
yoblossom
schedule
November 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
So far so good. I probably will stop reading when the heterosexual stuff gets too prevalent. Or at least skip it. But put a prologue that explain NaNoWriMo, so people will understand. It will help, then if they can't get it, you can just delete thier review ::grin:: Later
schedule
November 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Nice. Write more :P It's going well, chap 2 is short compaired to chap1 tho...