rate_review Reviews

i really need to update this

Great story, can be a little weird. Some parts were beter than others, though. Keep up the good work.
Noname

Haha brilliant once more. :)
If you could give a description of what each priest looks like, it would be realy helpful. I just imagine different versions of Chi-Ran's sinful, naughty priest. :D

oh my. my advice: take this off and rethink and rewrite EVERYTHING. i know how much fun writing with friends is, but maybe it should stay between friends at least for a little while. start writing this story in a notebook. pass it back and forth, edit it, work on it together. this will help your story like you won't believe. also do something with the names. nobody has a name like elliott evans, vandel(?), or mycels. look through phone books, baby name websites, and old year books. you'll be suprised by what you find. also get a title before you post. may i suggest the paint section of your local store? i'm serious. it is so creepy how inspiring little paint cards are. good luck!!!!!!