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April 28, 2007 at 12:00 AM
OH I LOVE THIS FIC! And I would really appreciate if you could put me on the email list for this story. And as for the names I like Jayden and Kaylie! Well can't wait to read more soon!!!
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April 24, 2007 at 12:00 AM
yes!!! i've been waiting for this update. you had me worried there for a bit, i was begining to think you had ditched this story for another one. and i'm sorry for my bad spelling, you can oviously tell i'm not a writer. keep up the great work!!
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April 24, 2007 at 12:00 AM
i just relized that i was right!! Dennis and Larry did break up!! OHH YEAH!!! i so rule!!! I wonder if James will get his ass kicked, cause i feel that there needs to be some sort of fight/ass kicking!
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April 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
jeremey and karris (sp?) sound good. there goes my vote...anyway, great update! i liked the mood swing change thing. it was funny.
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April 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
derek and layla
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April 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
PS. I would LOVE to be added to your email update list. use the email address that comes with my review, it's the one I check the most. =D
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April 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hey there~ I've been reading your story for a while and I think you have some great ideas. You keep things interesting and generally make the reader care for the people involved. But I think it would do you some good to get a very thorough beta. Not for typos, necessarily. You do all right with that. But there are parts of your writing that are rather awkward and don't fit with the flow. Whenever I hit a spot like that it makes me cringe. It's a shame because I really think this story could be very good if you managed to even out the rough edges.
If you could get someone that could truly give you some honest criticism, I think it would help you quite a bit. There are some issues of language, style and the general pattern in your story. I'm under the impression that you could make this much more enjoyable.
As it is, though, good job as far as the ideas that you've put into it. I like the characters, or most of them at least. ^^ But I think the ones I don't like are generally those that I'm supposed to dislike, so again, good job. Please don't take this as a criticism, rather, an encouragement. I think your creativity deserves a better presentation, and I don't think that's out of your reach with a little outside help.
If you could get someone that could truly give you some honest criticism, I think it would help you quite a bit. There are some issues of language, style and the general pattern in your story. I'm under the impression that you could make this much more enjoyable.
As it is, though, good job as far as the ideas that you've put into it. I like the characters, or most of them at least. ^^ But I think the ones I don't like are generally those that I'm supposed to dislike, so again, good job. Please don't take this as a criticism, rather, an encouragement. I think your creativity deserves a better presentation, and I don't think that's out of your reach with a little outside help.
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April 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Karris, Laya are the two I like for the girl names. And Jayden is the *only* one I even remotely like for the boy's name. Another beautiful update. Thank you. I can't wait to see where it goes with Richie and Shay. And I don't want to see what James has up his sleeve. Who thought in the end he'd be such an ass?
CotDM
CotDM
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April 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I am so happy that u updated this. I felt like I was gonna die from curiosity of the rest of the story.
if boy- Jeremy if girl- Jasmine
if boy- Jeremy if girl- Jasmine
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April 22, 2007 at 12:00 AM
HEY GREAT STORY I HOPE SHAY'S PARENTS GET BACK TOGETHER AND I KNOW WHAT JAMES DID WAS WRONG BUT I KNOW HE CAN CHANGE. MAYBE IN DUE TIME RICH CAN 4GIVE HIM AND BOTH FAMILES CAN COME 2GETHER AS ONE. OKAY ON TO THE NAMES 4 A BOY I LIKE JAYDEN AND 4 A GIRL I LIKE JASMINE THAT WOULD BE SO CUTE SEEING AS HOW THEY'RE TWINS. THANKS 4 A GREAT STORY.