AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for If I Knew Then....

by Mya416

person Kiix
schedule October 8, 2006 at 12:00 AM
You are very obedient. Keep up the good work. (eeew, I just creeped myself out.)
person DrkDreamer
schedule October 8, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I truly like your story - and have it saved to check for updates.

But one little critique - you should start a new paragraph each time the speaker changes. Makes who is talking much clearer.

Really looking forward to what sort of trouble Sean is in....
person DrkDreamer
schedule October 6, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Very nice discipline... excellently described.

But I do wonder just which character will be 'brought to heel'...

Nice that the vamp has a soft spot. (And a hard-on.)
schedule October 5, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I wasn't too lazy to log in this time. Anyway, I hate where you stopped! I can't wait for the next part, keep it up and I look forward to reading the next part. Poor, poor kitten, he needs to learn his place. Of course the breaking can be the best part.
person kiix
schedule October 5, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Love it. Keep it coming. :)
person Nasha D.J.
schedule October 5, 2006 at 12:00 AM
That was a good chappie :). And my what wonderful singing voice the Kitten has XD. Can't wait for the next chapter :).
person DrkDreamer
schedule October 5, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Lovely - I do so enjoy seeing the brave and brash brought to heel. {grin}

I'm assuming our vamp will see to that?
person Nasha D.J.
schedule October 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
HHMMMM, very interesting story you got here ^_^. I can't wait to read what happens next. Kitten... that is so funny, that should be his pet name from now on ^-^!
person miles
schedule October 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Good beginning ! update please
person Kage
schedule October 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I was too lazy to log in but wanted to tell you what I thought so far. Most excellent, very well done and I look forward to the next part. Keep up the wonderful work.