rate_review Reviews

Mitts

Didn't mean to hurt her, but he did!
I do like the way you described the prince...He came across as such a pompuss ass lol...The sort that needs a good kick up the rear..
I also liked the little scene where Chiron takes the girl to his tent, and a group of men egg him on, lol...Typical male behavior....
Will Dolfreywyn play a larger part in the story? And how will Kervasi react, when he finds his brother has also spent the night with a slave?
Great, keep it up!

Mitts

And there he goes, talking with his cock again, lol....Kervasi's brother was right...He IS addicted to sex with slaves...lmao
Very good, and I hope you do continue with it...although that still doesn't mean I'm not looking forward to an update for Paradox!

Just a couple of things to bring your attention to....
'He heard a sharp voice and turned on heal'...It should be 'heel'..
'Is it not a crime to leave them to their greif...' It's spelt 'grief'...

And finally...
'The whole family needed to be present when he presented the Prince with the choice unicorn filly my brother had captured on his latest raid.' You should change the word 'my' by brother..because you have told that whole paragraph from two different points of view, and its a little confusing to read...

I hope my observations helped...and keep writing!

I don't usually read m/f fics - but 'The Paradox' made me want to read more of what you've written.

You've captured a moment of slavery very well. The importance of masters NOT being kind - and the occasional slips that surely must have happened.