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October 27, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Awwww I want to know what kind of babies they had! Oh well. lol. It was very good! I loved it.
schedule
October 26, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Okay well as stories go I do like this one. I'm not sure why I like it yet but I will continue to read it. I am glad you decided to leave this story posted in romance instead of erotic because I honestly think that this is where it does belong. The storyline you have is nice. Sure it has been done before but that doesn't mean your take on it isn't good. I know you said you were changing things around so I'm not sure if that is the reason the last few chapters sound a bit more choppy than your earlier ones.
I do like the fact that you make them both acknowledge that they love each other but are not certain why since it has been such a short time. Most people (in writing) would brush that off as a minor detail. The accident and having the ex show up are just not twist that I saw coming. So you hit me with two suprises there. I love the fact that you have Jae not take off the ring. She is upset with him right now but having her unwilling to remove the ring (her only physical connection to him right now) shows how much she really does care. Smart move on your part. Wonder if Chase will notice.
I also think it is good that you let us inside Chase's head even now and again because I just don't get him sometimes. Seeing the situation through his eyes gives me a chance to usnderstand where he is coming from. When you said you wanted us to love-hate him you really meant it because until you have him explain certain his reasoning behind certain things I honestly do think him to be a very dumb smart person. I can't hate him though. One of my fav characters is a guy called Chase so even with all the dumb decisions he has made I can't make myself not like him.
You have done a decent job with the rest of the cast. They are part of the story without being actually stars and you seem to use them wisely so they just don't seem to pop out of no where. (like most people do...)When you have minor characters they only pop up to make the story move. You story envolves everyone without taking anything away or without have a multi-complex plot.
Well I suppose I have rambled enough. I would complain about they lenght of your chapters but you update so quickly the lenght doesn't bother me. You usually have a pretty common average as far a grammar and mechanics go. But in one of the last chapters, was the only time I could not figure out what you were trying to say. Jae was think something about Chase and if she wanted him or not...I think. I'll try to find it again and show it to you. I do have one thing I'm unclear on. I thought her family also called her Blue. Maybe I did not read that part correctly, I'll go back a re-read to be sure. Sorry about my errors. I just don't have to the time to look over my review to fix them.
babygurl_4th@yahoo
I do like the fact that you make them both acknowledge that they love each other but are not certain why since it has been such a short time. Most people (in writing) would brush that off as a minor detail. The accident and having the ex show up are just not twist that I saw coming. So you hit me with two suprises there. I love the fact that you have Jae not take off the ring. She is upset with him right now but having her unwilling to remove the ring (her only physical connection to him right now) shows how much she really does care. Smart move on your part. Wonder if Chase will notice.
I also think it is good that you let us inside Chase's head even now and again because I just don't get him sometimes. Seeing the situation through his eyes gives me a chance to usnderstand where he is coming from. When you said you wanted us to love-hate him you really meant it because until you have him explain certain his reasoning behind certain things I honestly do think him to be a very dumb smart person. I can't hate him though. One of my fav characters is a guy called Chase so even with all the dumb decisions he has made I can't make myself not like him.
You have done a decent job with the rest of the cast. They are part of the story without being actually stars and you seem to use them wisely so they just don't seem to pop out of no where. (like most people do...)When you have minor characters they only pop up to make the story move. You story envolves everyone without taking anything away or without have a multi-complex plot.
Well I suppose I have rambled enough. I would complain about they lenght of your chapters but you update so quickly the lenght doesn't bother me. You usually have a pretty common average as far a grammar and mechanics go. But in one of the last chapters, was the only time I could not figure out what you were trying to say. Jae was think something about Chase and if she wanted him or not...I think. I'll try to find it again and show it to you. I do have one thing I'm unclear on. I thought her family also called her Blue. Maybe I did not read that part correctly, I'll go back a re-read to be sure. Sorry about my errors. I just don't have to the time to look over my review to fix them.
babygurl_4th@yahoo
schedule
October 26, 2006 at 12:00 AM
*Falls on the ground laughing* HAHAHAHAAHAHA!!! I knew it!! I knew it was Chase!! I love it!! Please update soon.
schedule
October 26, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Awwww can you have them kiss at least? *Puppy eyed look* And you're welcome. I know what it's importent to review what you read. That's the biggest reason why authors put up their works here.
schedule
October 24, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Oh wow!!! Talk about a cliff hanger. I wonder who it is!! Hehehe please don't leave me hanging for long! hehe
schedule
October 23, 2006 at 12:00 AM
My oh my!! That's another great chapter! Hehe, I like Chase's family. I hope we see him again soon.
schedule
October 19, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I've been following this story and it is one of my favorites. You write really well and i would look forward to any other writings you have!
schedule
October 19, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Awwww that was a good chapter. It's nice to know where Chase came from and all. And you take your time updating. As for the next story, I like that backdrop. I've always loved boys who've had troubled pasts and have a dark personality.
schedule
October 18, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Wow...I have to say- I am really impressed...I noticed no one had updated anything new in a while and so i decided to start reading your story...and basically didn't stop until I got to the end of Chapter 16..YOU NOW HAVE ME HOOKED!!! That was excellent- I love the story- kind of different from the usual typical story line- also 16 chapters and not a single sex scene....that's also very impressive!! Please keep updating I can't wait to see what happens next-
oh btw- i kind of had a bf like that Robert character- good to at least see his ass getting kicked in your story! :)
oh btw- i kind of had a bf like that Robert character- good to at least see his ass getting kicked in your story! :)
schedule
October 17, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I love the story. I just finishing reading Chapter 15 and I was hitting the monitor on the computer LOL!!! Robert!!! OMFG. Not the one who disrespected Jae?
Ooooooooh somebody is gonna get into some trouble. Oooooooooooh. Please update real real real soon. I am on the edge of my seat. Next time I will have a bowl of popcorn and soda, but ooooooooooh. Chase is gonna kick this dued butt
Ooooooooh somebody is gonna get into some trouble. Oooooooooooh. Please update real real real soon. I am on the edge of my seat. Next time I will have a bowl of popcorn and soda, but ooooooooooh. Chase is gonna kick this dued butt