AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Pretty Pain

by oryxbeisa

person lexa1117
schedule July 4, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I really enjoy your writing, and the story was amazing.you should do a grorge's revenge story only to have him die in the end.it would be a good twist. just a suggestion. once again amazing story. *smiles* bye bye
schedule September 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Nice story :)
person Madapple
schedule August 11, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Hi Oryx,

I found this offering to be extremely interesting. It flowed well, the story had good detail. It was obviously well thought out. I have only 2 criticisms; first, the length of some of the paragraphs. If some of the longer ones could be separated, it would make for easier reading. Second, some of the punctuation. It took me a couple of sentences to realize that you meant "she'd" instead of "shed." If you could work on some of these minor things, this would be a great fic.

Thank you for sharing your story.
~Michelle