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March 11, 2019 at 12:00 AM
I love the story please tell me this more
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March 11, 2019 at 12:00 AM
I love the story please tell me this more
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July 24, 2006 at 12:00 AM
good chapter, i can't wait to read more. update soon.
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July 18, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Lagina, who was 23, was the mother of 5 children, three of which were triplets. Lagina was the female image of Torrence, only her eyes were a lighter shade of green. Next to greet him was his brother’s widow, Daphene.
My advice fot this chapter..(and it was great byt the way)..Is to spell out your numbers. Usually only dates like he dies in 1987 would be listed as a number..
But things like Lagine, who was Twenty-three, was the mother of Five children.
This would be spelled out. Dates are also usually typed out..like..a journal entry in a story.. May 01 2008 but in general refrence..like..Oh I think that happened on the First of May..is spelled.
Hope it helps. You're really getting sooo much better.
Starfyre
My advice fot this chapter..(and it was great byt the way)..Is to spell out your numbers. Usually only dates like he dies in 1987 would be listed as a number..
But things like Lagine, who was Twenty-three, was the mother of Five children.
This would be spelled out. Dates are also usually typed out..like..a journal entry in a story.. May 01 2008 but in general refrence..like..Oh I think that happened on the First of May..is spelled.
Hope it helps. You're really getting sooo much better.
Starfyre
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July 18, 2006 at 12:00 AM
reat story keep updateing.
Ja-Ne =^_^=
Ja-Ne =^_^=
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July 16, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Dragons! :D Reminds me of my dragon tattoo. Hes Purplr Green and has traces of yellow on his body. First tattoo I ever got. My other is a naked elfy cat girl chick. She is shyly covering her chest and her uhh..ahem! yeah!!
Getting better. Caught a quick mistake as I read.
Yours :The lady sighed in relief. For a moment she thought he could not hear her. She seen him numerous times before, but only at a distance. Every time she tried to get closer to him, his image always disappeared.
Correction: She Had seen him and or She saw
Keep going! Dragons...mmmm
Starfyre
Getting better. Caught a quick mistake as I read.
Yours :The lady sighed in relief. For a moment she thought he could not hear her. She seen him numerous times before, but only at a distance. Every time she tried to get closer to him, his image always disappeared.
Correction: She Had seen him and or She saw
Keep going! Dragons...mmmm
Starfyre
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July 12, 2006 at 12:00 AM
This is good. I like it. I can see it in your writing too. You are definitely improving.
No complaints. Keep up the efforts!
Starfyre
No complaints. Keep up the efforts!
Starfyre
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July 12, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Maybe it was the whole fantasy edge with dragons and all, but I like what I have seen so far on this. I will be looking forward to seeing more as it comes up.