rate_review Reviews

Well the story was good but it lacked in a lot of places, like the characters and base plot, u tried to put it as a ‘lookin back story’ but changed it to a POV, not good. U did an ok job of makin the story line flow with ease but messed up at some parts, Arise herself was perfect while Cono, her Master and Hope still needs a lot of work. If u write a sequel, I’ll read it cuz the fuckin seen was pretty good, just practice ur craft and you’ll get better.

You have story telling talent. However, you lack the writing skill to fully express it.
SpellCheck is your friend!
Also, do NOT express peoples actions through emotes.
WRONG: *laughs*
RIGHT: "He laughed"

Hawk that was the most awesome story ever! I totally loved it ... there was some grammar errors but it was nothing totally like horrible and the end was really good, kinda left me wanting to read, but there was nothing left to read lol so yes, very good indeed ^^ you should keep writing I know I would read every singe one you wrote ~^^~

I love this story.

This has great potential to be a good lemon, but you DESPERATELY need a proofreader, because there are a TON of terrible spelling errors all over the place in it. Please clean up your writing, because this story could be so great, but right now it just looks sloppy.