rate_review Reviews

wonderful story. your characters are well thought out and well written. the story grabs your attention and holds it from chapter to chapter. it flows well also. very entertaining.

I absolutely adore this story!!! It is well written and it keeps me interested. I so can’t wait until those two wind up in bed. The suspense is killing me so please make it soon. =)

I love your story! I just started reading it not too long ago and I definitely feel like many others that it reads like a novel. Your writing style is superb (reminds me of P L Nunn for some reasons) and you are very good at drawing out the reader's emotions (at least mine). I really can get into this story. I think it is definitely worthy of publication (I know there are things like YaoiUnderground that I think are looking for good stories, but I don't know how they pick their writers). I also think you are good at building up tension between the two main characters and I know we are all waiting for that to resolve. I don't agree with one of the other reviewers that describes Lark as mostly a drama queen. I mean he has been severely abused and I don't think it's easy to let anybody touch him after that regardless of what he actually wants. Even if he was sure about his master (which he isn't) it should still be difficult for him and he is new at this as well and therefore clumsy in his attempts (maybe that's why he seems a little bit like a teenage drama queen). Anyway, I do agree though that Lark needs some more reasons to love the mage, just physical attraction won't do it. I know he finds him kind and gentle and we all love that about him, but that's more gratitude or something. I just think Lark needs to find out more about him, which he has in the last chapter. It would be so nice, if the two could heal each other. There is a lot of emotional stuff to go through there. Not that I don't want them to finally end up in bed. I mean the tension over 13 chapters is getting to a point were it might be time to release it and move on. Maybe that's only my selfish side speaking here. I guess, I can't wait!!! You probably know what's best for the plot and the characters. Anyway, one last comment: What will ever happen to that wife?? I mean there is a whole side to this story that hasn't been tapped yet, but could. Won't she start to resent Lark or something? I don't know, if you want to bring her into the story or just keep her out and forget about her, since she doesn't seem to really be doing anything. Anyway, I write way too much and way too uncoherently. Again great job and I can't wait for more. I would definitely try to find someone who will publish it or do it yourself like others.

A novel, for sure! This is terrific! It was recced to me by Jean on my f'list and I have to say I am impressed. So far it reads as a novel would. Thank you for sharing.

I started this story with a great deal of enthusiasm. You have an interesting and compelling premise and except for a few misspellings, a pleasant way of writing. I get the feeling, however, as I finished chapter 13 that you have sort of lost your focus and instead of developing the characters and storyline further, your writing is being spent on nonessential description and sort of a "beating around the bush", so to speak. I believe you must develop some justification for your "slave" to be devoted to his "master", other than strictly physical looks, but more importantly, so far Lark is acting more like a 16 year old drama queen than a realistic object of affection for a powerful wizard who could conceiveably have anybody he wants. You have a great imagination and I am sure that you will be able to come up with further story line that will succeed as a love story, or exotica, or both.

Rargh! I have come to the conclusion that.......you update way too slow...I need more! This is driving me absolutely crazy! Alright, so after the confessions of last chapter, you're still in my good graces, and even this chapter has little bits of the happy, warm and bubbly teasy feeling in it...at least at the beginning, so that was good. But can't you just lock them together in a bedroom aready?!? SHEESH......I was totally ready for some forest sex on a foreign planet, ya? :gonk: -sigh- But no...you will make me wait through all the gorgeous, well-written, nail-biting plot one spaced out chapter at a time. T_T And I will wait through it...simply because I can do nothing else. I see your story at the top and I'm like YES! -Ahem- -Totally calm, cool, and collected- :ninja:

ANYway...the beginning of the chapter made me very happy...especially where Naeven sort of......quit talking mid sentence! xD I laughed out loud, really I did. And the strawberries were cool too...MUWAHAHAHA.........ok, I'll stop. Dang, poor Sactaren, though...he really does have some serious 'demons', eh? And...with that whole eye-changing-color-thingamabob.....it almost seems like he is part demon or something, literally has a 'dark side' just waiting to come out. o_O Still. I forgive him of all his past crimes...so long as he gets right on ahead with the bending Lark over a desk, gosh dangit! -Ahem- -Once again, totally collected- xP

Really though, you make the story lovely, and I'm glad to see Lark back working with Naeven, sex or no. All the things they end up doing are always a fascinating feast of imagination; you bring out such terrific new worlds, and I'm absolutely loving it. Can't wait till the next chapter! ^^

-Moonstar

Chapter 13 review...

This story continues to get better and better. I LOVE how you are revealing Sactaran's (sure spelling is wrong - sorry) background and character. And Lark's sweet attempts to be seductive...

And I have to compliment you on your writing skills. Besides enjoying the story itself so much, I'm picking up pointers on how better to express myself in my own fic.

Hope you don't mind - I wrote a recommendation for this story on the Yahoo group. I feel like you haven't gotten nearly the number of hits you deserve...

oh wow what a great story

oh please more.please !!!!

greatest story on aff