AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for The First Times A Charm

by RMcKinleigh

person anyonymous.
schedule February 6, 2006 at 12:00 AM
you need grammar help. not to much spelling, but grammar. work on it, then repost your story.
person *????*
schedule February 6, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Needs more detail like what they look like, what the rooms they were in looked like, and how things felt to be more descriptive the way they're skin felt or fibric of the chair felt and so on.
person Jason
schedule February 6, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I love this story its really good and well written!!!